Lately I have been thinking about the meaning of home. Not the wonderful Victorian space I have lived in for almost 14 years; my neighborhood of tree-lined streets; the welcoming market; the Maine coastline that still takes my breath [...]
Pat Taub
Lately I have been thinking about the meaning of home. Not the wonderful Victorian space I have lived in for almost 14 years; my neighborhood of tree-lined streets; the welcoming market; the Maine coastline that still takes my breath away. These places remain. What has changed is the country I thought I knew. I no longer feel at home here. [...]
Pat Taub
Barbara Rainville died last week; we’d known each other for 50 years. What I will miss most is not just Barbara’s steady friendship but sharing life’s big moments: the birth of our youngest child; dinner parties filled with laughter in one another’s homes; family picnics; our growing children; the excitement of new, meaningful jobs; [...]
Pat Taub
GUEST POST by TOM SANTULLI On the sidewalk a rusted shopping cart overturns: cans and bottles spill, clattering along the pavement. A frazzled, disheveled older woman scurries to retrieve her day’s income. Cars race past, oblivious. On the church nearby a multicolored banner proclaims, “STRONGER TOGETHER.” It too, oblivious. Connection [...]
Pat Taub
GUEST POST by MICHAEL STEINMAN That you are reading this surely means you don’t need it. But I ask your indulgence. When interacting with children we often try to teach civility, by prompting, “What’s the magic word?” True, it’s uncomfortably close to puppy-training, but we who pride ourselves on our own courtesies get [...]
Pat Taub
We have core stories we tell ourselves that trap us in a negative narrative: “If I speak up, my feelings might be hurt; I’m too shy to make new friends; I’m too old to take on a new project.” Esther Perel, the popular relationship therapist, contends the stories we tell ourselves are adaptive responses to childhood trauma, when [...]
Pat Taub
Like many women I’ve spent endless hours analyzing my relationship with my mother, giving only a passing nod to my father-daughter relationship, which impacted my independent strivings and my relationships with men. As Father’s Day approaches, it’s an opportune time to reflect on my relationship with my father. I grew up in [...]
Pat Taub
Contemporary beauty standards celebrate the older woman whose aging lines have been erased by cosmetic surgery, making her look years younger. Stretched out faces have become ubiquitous, no longer confined to film stars and celebrities; middle-income women are lining up for procedures from Botox to full face lifts, or traveling overseas [...]
Pat Taub
Two and a half years ago, you phoned, upending me with your words, “I have a terminal illness.” After we hung up, I wept, cursing the universe for saddling you with a difficult diagnosis. You’ve beaten the odds, surprising your doctors by living fully: attending senior college classes; maintaining membership on community boards and [...]
Pat Taub
“Grief is the price you pay for love.” Amy Bloom When I was young funeral attendance was largely confined to grandparents and ancient uncles and aunts. As an elder, funerals and memorial services routinely fill my calendar. In spite of death’s regularity, I remain awkward around a grief-stricken friend or relative. My discomfort is [...]
Pat Taub
I’d gotten used to fooling nature; people frequently assumed I was ten years younger than my age. Overnight that changed. Store clerks, strangers, and family members began recasting me as a little old lady needing assistance. At Walgreens, in search of a shower cap, I approached a clerk for help. The pleasant young woman escorted me [...]
Pat Taub