GUEST POST by MICHAEL STEINMAN That you are reading this surely means you don’t need it. But I ask your indulgence. When interacting with children we often try to teach civility, by prompting, “What’s the magic word?” [...]
Pat Taub
GUEST POST by MICHAEL STEINMAN That you are reading this surely means you don’t need it. But I ask your indulgence. When interacting with children we often try to teach civility, by prompting, “What’s the magic word?” True, it’s uncomfortably close to puppy-training, but we who pride ourselves on our own courtesies get [...]
Pat Taub
We have core stories we tell ourselves that trap us in a negative narrative: “If I speak up, my feelings might be hurt; I’m too shy to make new friends; I’m too old to take on a new project.” Esther Perel, the popular relationship therapist, contends the stories we tell ourselves are adaptive responses to childhood trauma, when [...]
Pat Taub
Like many women I’ve spent endless hours analyzing my relationship with my mother, giving only a passing nod to my father-daughter relationship, which impacted my independent strivings and my relationships with men. As Father’s Day approaches, it’s an opportune time to reflect on my relationship with my father. I grew up in [...]
Pat Taub
Contemporary beauty standards celebrate the older woman whose aging lines have been erased by cosmetic surgery, making her look years younger. Stretched out faces have become ubiquitous, no longer confined to film stars and celebrities; middle-income women are lining up for procedures from Botox to full face lifts, or traveling overseas [...]
Pat Taub
Two and a half years ago, you phoned, upending me with your words, “I have a terminal illness.” After we hung up, I wept, cursing the universe for saddling you with a difficult diagnosis. You’ve beaten the odds, surprising your doctors by living fully: attending senior college classes; maintaining membership on community boards and [...]
Pat Taub
“Grief is the price you pay for love.” Amy Bloom When I was young funeral attendance was largely confined to grandparents and ancient uncles and aunts. As an elder, funerals and memorial services routinely fill my calendar. In spite of death’s regularity, I remain awkward around a grief-stricken friend or relative. My discomfort is [...]
Pat Taub
I’d gotten used to fooling nature; people frequently assumed I was ten years younger than my age. Overnight that changed. Store clerks, strangers, and family members began recasting me as a little old lady needing assistance. At Walgreens, in search of a shower cap, I approached a clerk for help. The pleasant young woman escorted me [...]
Pat Taub
This past weekend I watched the film, “Rental Family,” set in contemporary Tokyo. Brendan Fraser plays an American actor, whose acting roles have dried up. In desperation he signs on with a Japanese “rental family” agency where actors are hired to assume family roles. Frazer’s roles, as Philip, include: the groom to a closeted lesbian [...]
Pat Taub
Several years ago, I participated in a National Geographic “people to people” tour to Cuba. Now that Trump’s oil embargo is threatening Cuba’s very survival, I’m sharing my memories of Cuba for those unacquainted with its amazing people. Everywhere I went Cubans were open and warm, eager to share their impressions of daily [...]
Pat Taub
In our increasingly dark times, despair is a seductive force. Many of us have been deeply affected by the 170 Iranian schoolgirls murdered by US bombs; ICE’s inhumane detention centers; and an increasingly unhinged President who is oblivious to how his policies are threatening WW lll. The list is long, but if we limit our focus to the darkness, [...]
Pat Taub