Pat Taub
Can you imagine a scenario where you, a vital older woman, actually liked your body instead of making it a battleground where you fret over your weight, wrinkles, and saggy boobs? What if food wasn’t the enemy and sleepless nights had their own advantages? What if you had practices for honoring your body?
Body acceptance for the older woman often feels radical because you’re breaking away from the pack.
When you accept your body as it is, you’re refusing to buy into the cultural message that the older woman’s body is unacceptable. You’re bravely rejecting the market place’s insistence to beat back the clock through expensive facial creams, hair dyes, pricey vitamins, and plastic surgery.
For all you badass older women trying to resist body shaming, I’m offering a manifesto for aging gracefully and naturally:
STEP #1:
On waking in the morning, repeat the pledge, “Today I will honor the wisdom reflected in my face and the softness associated with my mature form. When self-doubts surface, I will remind myself of my inner beauty.”
STEP #2:
I won’t go crazy over what I eat but aim for healthy foods and possibly ones that don’t leave a carbon footprint, like beef. Several times a week I’ll cook from scratch because preparing a meal for myself is an act of self-love.
Give your body healthy foods when possible
STEP #3:
I will exercise for my well being, practicing yoga or Pilates to stay limber and ward off broken bones from falls. I will delight in the endorphins exercise releases. I will include spiritual movement like the Japanese practice of forest bathing, walking in the woods to experience nature’s grace, or exploratory, soulful city walks.
STEP #4:
I won’t go all-negative over insomnia or sleepless nights but convert interrupted sleep into a positive. Instead of fighting the middle-of-the-night-wide-awakes I’ll read a favorite author until I feel drowsy.
Rather than fight insomnia, give into it by reading favorite authors til your eyelids droop
STEP #5:
I will be open to new avenues for treating aging-related ailments. For example, I know a woman who is treating her painful arthritis through the pain-reducing properties of medical marijuana. Other women swear by the anti-inflammatory properties of certain foods and vitamins.
Be open to alternative treatments for persistent aches and pains
I will make sure I have a doctor or medical professional who is experienced seeing older patients so my concerns are treated seriously. I will try not to be sucked into taking expensive drugs, which is another way the market place takes advantage of older patients.
STEP #6:
If I’m feeling touch deprived I will set money aside for massages and purchase a vibrator, if I don’t have one. Sexual pleasure isn’t dependent on a partner.
When feeling touch deprived consider a massage
STEP #7:
Because body-acceptance is dependent on my psychological well-being I will honor myself on a regular basis by purchasing fresh flowers, if only a single rose; splurging on a favorite food like shrimp; plastering affirmations next to my laptop or on my bedroom bureau. I might mail myself a greeting card brimming with positive messages.
Farmer’s markets are a good source for fresh flowers to make you feel special
Since a compassionate practice increases well being, I will join a worthy social cause or look for ways to perform random acts of kindness. I won’t overlook self-compassion, silencing my hypercritical inner voice with positive self-talk.
Badass older women refusing to be body shamed need all the support they can muster. I will reach out to my soul sisters and schedule bi-weekly or monthly potlucks or coffee meet-ups where we’ll exchange phone numbers for those times when a woman needs to talk. If there are only three or four of us at first, that’s enough. Our enthusiasm will attract other women.
A women’s support group discussing body-shaming
In the words of Maya Angelou:
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation which is not nurturing to the whole woman.
