Pat Taub
As a young woman, I never would have predicted that landing in my eighth decade would usher in the most content state of my life. I expected the challenges of being in an aging body would sour my mood. Instead, I finally grew up.
I learned to reap the lessons from all my years of soul-searching, growing from romantic heartbreaks, career disappointments, struggles with my sons, and the painful deaths of close friends and relatives. I am finally at peace with myself. I am happy to claim membership in the tribe of wise older women.
A sampling of wise women artists in their 70’s, 80’s and 90’s. (New York Times)
The one caveat to moving into my wisdom years is the reminder that I live a privileged lifestyle, unlike older women living in poverty, whose lives are consumed with making ends meet. Consequently, I feel a responsibility to direct my wisdom years not only to enriching my inner life, but doing my part to work for social justice for all.
Because women tend to thrive in community, older women can benefit from sharing their wisdom with one another where we take in one another’s discoveries, borrowing lessons, and/or receiving confirmation when another’s discoveries mirror our own.
A thriving women’s community
In the spirit of sharing our older wisdom, I posed this question to women on the WOW Facebook page, “What wisdom have you acquired over the years?” Their responses are chock full of wisdom.
JOIE: “You can’t fix everything in the world, and what you can fix often can’t be fixed by you alone. So, start with yourself and connect with community for the rest.”
MARIJA: “To be brave.”
Angela Davis, a model for living bravely
CAROLINE: “To stay out of others business! Especially your grown children’s. Don’t steal their ability to learn by fixing things.”
SALLY: “To forgive and forget. To give myself the grace to feel peace every day.”
“If you don’t become the ocean, you’ll be seasick every day.” Leonard Cohen
DOREEN: “1. Take care of yourself. Your emotional and physical self should be cherished as it’s the vehicle by which you experience your life. Don’t take them for granted or expect others to take care of you. 2. Practice healthy boundaries…know where you end and someone else begins. 3. Love, really love and respect our planet and all inhabitants. 4. Let go of expectations and live and appreciate the present moment. 5. Choose where you direct your mind…and notice more beauty around you. 6. And finally, just live love.”
DIXIE: “Respect for the Sandinistas saying that Dignity is more important than longevity helps one to move forward and to let go of fears.”
KAREN: “Stay in motion. As soon as you cease movement in a forward direction, it becomes more and more difficult to get back up to speed. Keep learning. Spend time with young people. Make a list of things that you need to accomplish daily (even only small things). Do the things that make you happy because tomorrow is guaranteed to no one.”
LINDA: “The older you get, the more time speeds up. Treasure the small things and the everyday joys in life. Don’t sweat the small stuff is really good advice. Notice the beauty in every sunset, flower, waterfall, and full moon, as each one is unique.”
CHRISTINE: “Sitting in nature and quietly observing with all one’s senses has a restorative effect on one’s soul.
We’re all headed in the same direction in life (the winding down and eventual death of our bodies). Appreciate people’s challenges, blessings and various phases of their journey and embrace our own.”
