By PAT TAUB and LISA SAVAGE Aging with a loved one can tap into joys, strengths and the benefits, but also health changes, family tensions, and potentially devastating financial challenges. Consider this scenario: Friends of friends [...]
Pat Taub
Two and a half years ago, you phoned, upending me with your words, “I have a terminal illness.” After we hung up, I wept, cursing the universe for saddling you with a difficult diagnosis. You’ve beaten the odds, surprising your doctors by living fully: attending senior college classes; maintaining membership on community boards and [...]
Pat Taub
This past weekend I traveled from my home in Portland, Maine to Oneonta, New York to attend the 90th birthday party of a dear friend I have known for 50 years. I wasn’t prepared for the time travel my visit set off. I kept bouncing around from the present to the past to the future and back again. I met Dave, the birthday celebrant, when [...]
Pat Taub
GUEST POST by LISA SAVAGE Yesterday I read a novel that took me back to the fierce experience of becoming a mother under late-stage capitalism. Claire Kilroy perfectly captures the despair and precarious state of infant mothers where there is no mothering for them. The protagonist of SOLDIER SAILOR is at the end of her rope and very nearly [...]
Pat Taub
This past weekend I hunkered down with treasured artist Maira Kalman’s latest book, Women Holding Things, a collection of playful drawings of women holding things accompanied by Kalman’s witty commentary. This delightful book prompted me to make a list of some of the things I hold along with those that will free me up if I stop holding [...]
Pat Taub
“I do pretty well living alone, but on days when I crave companionship, it becomes depressing.” “I’m too embarrassed to reach out to friends when I’m feeling lonely.” “My family sees me as a strong woman, so they don’t realize I get lonely and would like them to contact me more.” “I wish there were places, other [...]
Pat Taub
My grandmothers and mother lived well into their 80’s, transitioning into old age with only minimal complaints. While they followed healthy diets and exercised moderately, they didn’t obsess over their daily routines, or fret about their extra pounds or wrinkles. They simply didn’t stress about aging. Granted they lived at a time [...]
Pat Taub
GUEST POST by MARY LOU SMITH* When I was young, I would hear my elders say, “My circle of friends is getting smaller,” The words passed right over me, without listening or understanding. Now that I am eighty-three, I am in the midst of living those words. The recent death of my soulmate, friend, and “sister” Lucille, of fifty-three [...]
Pat Taub
GUEST POST by JACOB WATSON At first and for many months after my wife died, I felt brutalized. Grief is brutal, a word I used often when my grief was fresh. Then slowly, way too slowly for inpatient me, a transformation began to happen. I remembered a class I took in my doctoral program taught by Clarissa Pinkola Estés, the feminist author [...]
Pat Taub
GUEST POST by FRANCESCA LYNN ARNOLDY* My Death Journal is a gift for my beloveds that I have been lovingly creating for many years. It’s meant for my end of life—whenever that occurs. My family members know of its purpose and where it lives. My Death Journal contains mementos, messages, song lyrics, poetry, quotes, wishes for care if and [...]
Pat Taub
As a young woman, I never would have predicted that landing in my eighth decade would usher in the most content state of my life. I expected the challenges of being in an aging body would sour my mood. Instead, I finally grew up. I learned to reap the lessons from all my years of soul-searching, growing from romantic heartbreaks, career [...]
Pat Taub