Pat Taub
Human tensions are running high these days. We’re facing global warming, an escalating war in Ukraine, racial tensions, and economic hardships. While we can’t control how life challenges us, we can control how we respond.
If we pause and put the world’s problems on the back burner, we can make room for joy. But how, you must be wondering?
Look no further than “The Book of Joy,” and the accompanying Netflix documentary, “Mission: JOY.” Both the book and the film focus on a week-long conversation between the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu.
I read the book before I saw the film, which allowed me to see the book’s lessons applied in real time as Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama engage in conversations full of laughter, mutual affection, and deep listening. They are ambassadors for joy.
Both men discovered joy from the depths of their suffering. Each learned to develop compassion towards his enemies. For the Dalai Lama it meant softening his heart towards the Chinese government whose attacks on Tibet, forced him to migrate permanently to India. For Desmond Tutu the challenge was to be compassionate towards the South African Apartheid government that brutally attacked and imprisoned his people.
The Dalai Lama as a young man being greeted in India after being forced out of Tibet.
Joy is not ego-driven.
It’s the ability to put yourself in the other’s shoes, to imagine their suffering, even when they make life difficult for you. This shift allows for compassion towards the other and takes away their power over you.
Compassion is our better nature. It ushers us into the light. On a national scale we experience compassion when neighbors come together to help someone in need or when weather catastrophes impact an entire community. On a smaller scale compassion can be a daily practice when we smile at strangers, or practice random acts of kindness.
A compassionate act brings joy to both the giver and the receiver
Compassion involves self-compassion as well as compassion for others. The Dalai Lama describes self-compassion as having compassion for our human frailties.
Desmond Tutu cautions against running away from difficulties and instead asking, “How can I use this as a positive experience?” This means accepting what’s difficult and working to change what needs to be changed, like coming together to address global warming and working for world peace.
There is joy in working together for a climate friendly world
Humor brings joy.
Humor softness the heart. It was central in the dialogues between these two great spiritual leaders. They were constantly laughing and poking fun at one another. Humor brought them closer together, but it was never applied maliciously. Their humor was sweet and respectful.
Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama in one of their frequent humorous exchanges
Forgiveness brings joy.
The Dalai Lama regards forgiveness as liberating. When you are able to forgive someone who has been negative towards you, you feel freer.
Gratitude brings joy.
The Archbishop regards gratitude as something that connects us all. He uses the example of being grateful for the food we are eating and for all those who have made our meal possible—farmers, grocers, and cooks. The writer, Mary Pipher, finds joy in a daily gratitude practice that celebrates nature.
Alice Walker feeling grateful for the existence of a small bird
Here are responses from women on the WOW Facebook page on what brings them joy:
WENDY: What gives me joy are those ever-increasing moments where there’s no criticism in my head, I am at peace and content.
CHARL: Dancing
TERRY: Painting in the studio
SUSAN, SALLY, FRANCINE: Grandchildren and the pleasure of being in their company.
LINDA: A hug, a kiss, people supporting each other, and the enormous diversity and talent in this world.
GUDRUN: The colors of the sky every single day
SUZETTE: Singing in harmony with others
DIXIE: Being in the present.
CATHY: Giving compliments to those I encounter each day.
I hope these examples inspire you to celebrate small everyday connections so joy can fill your heart.
