Pat Taub
Each new racist tweet from the Orange Monster, each new horrifying account of migrant children in detention, each new dire climate change warning plunges me deeper into despair. To survive I go about my days pushing my despair underground.
Last week a stranger’s simple act of kindness pulled me into the light, shifting my perspective.
Yours truly in despair mode
My Chicago grandkids were visiting and since they’ve never been to Boston, I planned a day’s train trip from Portland to Boston to see the Boston Aquarium and the Boston Fine Arts Museum. After a full day that left us exhausted and cranky we trudged into North Station for the ride back to Portland.
As we struggled with backpacks and packages the station door magically opened, held for us by a middle-aged woman with a gentle face. She moved quickly to get to the second set of interior doors, which she also held for us. I thanked her warmly as she smiled in exchange.
Yours truly, Max and Jane by a dramatic glass sculpture at the Boston Fine Arts Museum
How could I have forgotten about the transformative powers of kindness? I used to be more intentional in my kindness practice. Has all the ugliness dominating our political discourse deactivated my kindness button?
Once seated on the train with Jane, 15 and Max, almost 14, I used the stranger’s door-holding as a teachable moment, elaborating on how random acts of kindness can make the world a more harmonious, peaceful place.
A favorite image of a random act of kindness
The next day as we were exploring downtown Portland, with each building I signaled to enter, Max raced ahead to hold doors for person after person, testing my patience, wondering if I had been too good a teacher. Jane garnered points for helping a little girl gather up her dropped library books.
That evening over our farewell dinner of Chinese dumplings I asked Jane and Max if it made them happier to practice random acts of kindness. They nodded affirmatively. We made a pact where the three of us pledged to practice a daily act of kindness.
How do little acts of kindness change a person? For starters, a kind act usually brings smiles which penetrate into your very being, brightening your mood. Kindness makes our hearts bigger. What’s more it’s often reciprocal as a play on the expression, “What goes around, comes around.”
I find that once I set the intention to be kind, thoughtful acts come fairly easily. It can be something as simple as saying “Good Morning” to strangers you pass on the sidewalk, or bestowing a compliment. On a recent visit to my doctor, I complimented the young receptionist on her gracious phone manner. She smiled shyly in gratitude.
Kind acts are not reserved for strangers or for those we don’t know well. Hugs to friends and family enhance connections, as do handwritten notes sent on envelopes with stamps, or a phone call to someone who’s hurting.
Dispensing hugs is a great kindness practice
For those friends and family members with whom you differ politically, practice listening without making judgments. It can be challenging but when understanding replaces animosity our relationships become more compassionate, adding to society’s kindness index.
Random acts of kindness won’t be enough to transform our political culture but while we’re working on the big issues to close the camps, stop war with Iran, end racism and address climate change, daily attention to practicing kindness can go a long way towards planting seeds of love and dispelling those dark clouds.
