To ”Bibimania!” – Aging à la française

GUEST POST by JORINDE VAN DEN BERG

I am an aging Dutch-American woman, who has visited France regularly for about half a century. When I moved to the U.S., I noticed the ambiguous portrayal of French women in the American media: a love-hate relationship vacillating between sheer adoration and jealousy of those “froggies” (not my words!) who never ever seem to get fat, age, or look ugly. They can stuff their faces with baguettes and snails, drink buckets of burgundy, never go to the gym, and still look amazing.

An older French woman reflecting the effortless style for which French woman are legendary.

Of course, this stereotype is a myth. In fact, it is not so much as Mireille Guiliano claims in her book that French Women Don’t Get Fat, but instead they risk such harsh criticism when they show signs of aging or “letting go” that most are even harsher on themselves.

So, while French women face the challenge of aging in different ways than American women, their plights are equally difficult. French women tend to combat the aging/beauty conundrum by eating small portions, walking a lot, and dressing with flair.

While the French care about their looks, they are equally enamored of the older woman who exhibits intelligence and confidence, like 66-year-old First Lady, Brigitte Macron, whose popularity continues to increase even though her husband’s has waned. So much so that Macron receives about 200 fan mails per day! The phenomenon even has a name: “Bibimania.”

Last month, when I was in a restaurant in Dijon, France, one woman said she “adored” Brigitte Macron because she was “unique” and had “made the right choices.” I wasn’t sure if she was referring to the fact that “Bibi” is a relentless advocate for education and healthcare, or that Brigitte’s husband, the Prime Minister, was her former student and is 24 years younger.

Brigitte Macron and the Prime Minister meeting some of her admiring public

Assertive “older” French women seem to have come into their own.

Besides Macron, think of the powerful International Monetary Fund director Christine LaGarde(63); the brilliant actresses Juliette Binoche(55) and Isabelle Huppert(66), and articulate former super-model Inès de la Fressange(62). The latter has become quite the style-guru for “older” women thanks to her Parisian Chic books. She is one of the few people I follow on Instagram because… well… I want to be her “when I grow up.” Oh no, it was “when I grow old(er)…”

While some of my aging friends in youth-obsessed America have become gym rats and Botox-addicts in pursuit of being “Forever 21,” my French idol, Madame de la Fressange, makes aging gracefully look effortless, proclaiming aging is about showing the best version of yourself at the age you are. As the mother of two grown daughters, she wants them to know that who you are has more to do with your choices than your looks.

Inès de la Fressange and her daughters

It’s not just famous French women who radiate self-confidence, but it extends to the average older French woman, like Parisian Madame LeBlanc who says, “The older I get, the more I feel like the person I am supposed to be.

Jeannette from Bordeaux agrees, but blames the media and cautions: “We are the ones who can break the stereotypes about aging women and teach others that healthy, mature women who contribute to the world are beautiful.”