Pat Taub
This past weekend I hunkered down with treasured artist Maira Kalman’s latest book, Women Holding Things, a collection of playful drawings of women holding things accompanied by Kalman’s witty commentary.
This delightful book prompted me to make a list of some of the things I hold along with those that will free me up if I stop holding them.
Things I Hold:
Cut flowers from my garden and then arranging them in my grandmother’s white Victorian pitcher
My current bedside novel, “Things I Never Told You” by Celeste Ng
A ready smile. Today it was for a teenage grocery clerk with a long face.
The key to my little country retreat where my troubles vanish when I open the door.
Sunset from the front door of my country retreat
Grief for the suffering of mothers in Gaza
A handful of fresh asparagus
A beloved summer straw hat
The banister to my second floor whose accompanying wall bears a colorful mural painted last summer by my granddaughter
My milk frother which I use every morning to make a latte.
My Nike sneakers as I prepare to go for a walk
The stillness of nature surrounding me as I sit in my screened-in porch.
My credit card as I donate relief supplies for Gaza.
A photo from a 2018 trip to London showing my youngest son photo bombing, hiding behind the other family members grouped on a park bench.
Memories of eccentric relatives for my work-in-progress memoir
Empowering words of Audre Lorde and Angela Davis that give me courage
My mother’s reminder to live each day fully
My mother, Jane Conrad First, celebrating her 80th birthday
My father’s reminder that persistence is the better part of change
My date book to remind me of upcoming outings with friends
A bright red lipstick for a fancy occasion
My decades old Mason-Pearson hairbrush
A glass of celery juice recommended for my arthritis
My spoon as it’s about to dig into a luscious serving of Panna cotta
A postcard from my grandson traveling in Australia
Compassion for my brother dealing with Alzheimer’s
Private whimsical thoughts that entertain me
Hope for a peaceful world at home and abroad
A bottle of wine and snacks for a women’s gathering at my home
On good days, I hold my own
What I Need to Stop Holding:
Irritation with ungrateful people
Frustration with my aging body’s slowing down
Frustration with my low cholesterol diet which denies me once favorite foods like gooey sticky buns and lobster rolls
Farewell to lobster rolls!
Impatience with my procrastination
Ditto with my irregular meditation schedule
Consuming despair over the genocide in Gaza
Ditto for global warming
Family members whose politics drive me up the wall
Conclusion:
Writing my “what I hold” list filled me with light, reminding me of all the things I hold that spark gratitude. So many of them are small everyday events that I gloss over in my rushing about.
Writing my “what I need to stop holding” list clarified how much energy I put into things beyond my control. A reminder that I can’t change anyone else or the world at large, but I can change my response to move out of my frustration. How welcoming to greet my inner wise woman!
Holding self-love
