When I think about what has made my life meaningful, it’s come from those experiences where I woke up. Events that rocked my world...
Positive Self-Image10
Autumn Is My New Year
While New Year’s Eve is the traditional time for making resolutions, autumn is my new year. Autumn’s entry into the darkness of winter beckons me to soul-search and reset my compass for the coming year. This call is reinforced by having a fall birthday–one I proudly share with Jimmy Carter. This year I decided to do more than [...]
Pat Taub
Letting Go of Regrets
All things considered I’m managing my old age fairly well. I can check off most of the boxes for health, family, etc., but when it comes to handling my regrets, I’m often stalled. To this day I’m haunted over screaming matches with my teenage sons, impatience with my mother when she was dying, love affairs I allowed to go on way [...]
Pat Taub
Finding Freedom
GUEST POST BY MARY LOU MACKIN Twenty-two years ago, I stood before a judge in a courtroom full of strangers trembling and bewildered, to petition for a restraining order from my abusive husband. I was the mother of a one-year old son, and I was terrified for his future more than my own. I felt the sudden presence of someone by my side, [...]
Pat Taub
Death Journaling
GUEST POST by FRANCESCA LYNN ARNOLDY* My Death Journal is a gift for my beloveds that I have been lovingly creating for many years. It’s meant for my end of life—whenever that occurs. My family members know of its purpose and where it lives. My Death Journal contains mementos, messages, song lyrics, poetry, quotes, wishes for care if and [...]
Pat Taub
Recognize Self-Defeating Thinking
Aging can be so challenging for the older woman that it’s a wonder any of us enjoy a happy old age, but it’s within reach once we learn to recognize thinking patterns that box us in. It’s natural to indulge in thinking about good times in the past. Romancing the past can be problematic when it becomes obsessive and obscures the reality [...]
Pat Taub
Aging and Raging
GUEST POST by JANET WEIL “Here’s the check, sweetheart.” The handsome young waiter laid the little tray on the table. Seating me at a booth, he had started with, “I guess it’s just the two of us.” I felt a vague annoyance. Now, after his calling me “sweetie” twice before, annoyance was turning to anger, a familiar emotion [...]
Pat Taub
The Stories We Tell Ourselves
We all have core stories we tell ourselves that keep us trapped in a negative narrative: “I can’t seem to speak up when my feelings are hurt; I have a hard time believing I’m good enough; I’m too old to be in a relationship.” Esther Perel, the popular relationship therapist, believes that the stories we tell ourselves are adaptive [...]
Pat Taub
Finding Your Voice
Finding your voice is coming home to yourself, being true to what matters to you, and no longer suppressing your feelings. The noted Canadian psychiatrist, Gabor Mate, refers to finding your voice as acting with agency. In this recent book, “The Myth of Normal,” he contends that nice women, who do for others at the expense of their [...]
Pat Taub
“Still Life at Eighty” by Abigail Thomas
Still Life at Eighty is a reassuring memoir chock full of humor, irreverence, and wisdom. Abigail Thomas greets her old age with vulnerability and spunk, refusing to buy into the familiar worries that often accompany aging. She is refreshingly positive about aging. Thomas has learned to love her solitude, shed guilty feelings, and be unapologetic [...]
Pat Taub
Astrology as a Tool for Self-Understanding
GUEST POST By LAURIE FARRINGTON My fascination with astrology began the first time I saw the symbols on those little horoscope booklets by the grocery store check-out counters in the early 1960s. Following many years of self-study, I began my formal practice of astrology in 1994. As a professional consulting astrologer, I use the tool of astrology [...]
Pat Taub