Pat Taub
I have a friend who’s been telling me for years that she’s going to take Italian lessons. Another friend has a long-standing dream to visit Japan. For just as long, every time I pass an art supply store I revisit my dream of taking up watercolors.
We’re members of the late-in-life dream club whose engine is stalled. But it doesn’t have to be this way, if you follow George Elliot’s immortal words, “It’s never too late to be the woman you might have been.”
A woman trying to articulate her dream
To make your dream a reality start by taking it seriously. In a journal, or on your laptop, record your dream: describe it in detail followed by the steps involved to make it happen. If your dream is to take watercolor lessons, find out where classes are offered in your area. Pick a class that fits your schedule. Bite the bullet and sign up. If you need a month or two to prepare emotionally, that’s fine but don’t wait too long or your dream will remain on hold.
Another way to prepare for settling into your dream is to visualize it.
Imagine yourself in front of an easel, mixing colors and wearing a beret, for a touch of fun. Prepare a pep talk for when self-doubt creeps in. Remind yourself that beginnings are hard for everyone, but embracing your dream will allow you to grow into a fuller, happier person.
Meditation can help to crystallize a dream plan
Tell your dream to a friend, sharing your timeline for tackling your dream. Make a dream pact with her where she reveals her own long delayed dream and where you support one another by checking in with progress reports.
A dream to try something new can be as small as committing to morning walks, cooking one new recipe each week, keeping a journal, buying fresh flowers regularly or starting a meditation practice. Dreams are the way we expand our lives. Dreams allow us to grow in new ways. Dreams that are actualized give our lives meaning.
Journaling about a dream’s steps can serve as an action plan
Dreams are not always about personal goals. They can and often do involve social action like joining the climate change movement, working for universal health care, or volunteering for a needy cause in your community. You might consider mentoring young activists. Dreams of helping others are food for the soul.
As older women we face dream barriers by living in a society that doesn’t value our continued growth.
Consequently many older women don’t give themselves permission to dream. Stagnation can lead to depression and low self-worth. We have to fight the stereotype of the older woman who spends her later years disappearing from society.
Older women often feel invisible which can keep them from fulfilling their dreams
Remarkable achievements have been made by older women acting on their dreams while in their 80’s and ‘90’s. Beatrice Wood, the noted ceramic artist, who had lovers decades younger, completed her most productive work from the age of 80 until her death at 105.
Beatrice Wood, ceramic artist, whose most productive work was from 80 until her death at 105. (Jill Stattler)
The Japanese artist, Yayoi Kusama, 89, is so popular that her recent touring installations in major art museums sold out in hours everywhere they were exhibited. Diana Athill, the deliciously outspoken British editor and writer published her first memoir at 89 and her second one at 98!
Diana Athill wrote up till the end of her life; pictured here in her late ’90’s
Get on board: dust off your dreams and enter a new world with a new you. Join the Dream Corps of older women actualizing their dreams of interesting lives where they enrich themselves and their communities!
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