How Did You Get to Where You Are?

GUEST POST by SHIRLEY DELONG

Remember when the only way to figure out how to get to a place you’d never been before was to use a paper map? If you were like me, you’d write down all the road names in order, each left or right turn you had to make, approximate mileage and some landmarks to help you know you were on the right track. Or depending on how long and complicated the trip was, you might even ask AAA to map it out for you and use that as your guide.

Now, we can simply use our GPSs when we don’t know how to get somewhere.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could use a GPS to map out our lives, showing us what’s ahead, how to get there the quickest, pointing out potential detours along the way, rerouting as necessary?

What would it be like to have your life mapped out for you? I’m currently reading a book called, The Horse Dancer, written by Jojo Moyes. Sarah, the central character, is being raised by her grandfather, Henri Lachapelle, who is an accomplished horseman. He decides that his teenage granddaughter, Sarah, could benefit from the discipline it requires to become a member of an elite riding group, LeCadre Noir. It’s his dream for her. He doesn’t really give Sarah a chance to decide for herself.

We hear lots of stories of parents who decide their children should follow in their footsteps. Maybe it’s adopting the same profession or maybe it’s learning the family business. I was always jealous of people whose parents owned their own businesses. How wonderful, I thought, to have that kind of assurance. No need to worry about what you were going to do to make a living, it was just handed to you.

But let’s face it, that doesn’t always work out either. Many people want to strike out on their own and not be forced to work for and with their families. Maybe they’re not even interested in the family business.

When I listen to famous people say, “I knew from the age of 7, that I wanted to be an actor or a musician”, I marvel at their certainty.

Conversely, there was no clear direction or roadmap for my life. My parents weren’t very accomplished and only focused on the here and now, providing for their family. They never told us we could do anything we set our minds to, never instilled that kind of confidence in us. As a result, when I was young, I never really gave any thought to what I might specifically accomplish in my lifetime. No lofty goals for me.

The author, on the far right, with her two sisters

So which method is best? Having your life mapped out for you, deciding at an early age what you want to do with your life, or just going with the flow and seeing where life leads you?

Regardless, there are always twists and turns that need to be navigated. Just because you know what you want to do and where you want to go, it doesn’t mean the trip will be a smooth one, or perhaps when you reach your destination, it’s not what you expected.

I believe, if each of us was to create a map of the lives we have lived, no one would have a straight path. There will always be forks in the road, sharp curves to navigate, roadblocks we encounter, detours along the way. How we navigate these challenges determines who we become and how far we will go.

But no matter where we end up, or what roads we have taken to get there, what illuminates our path is the people we meet along the way, the relationships we establish, the positive impacts we have on other people’s lives and on this precious earth. Maps don’t help us find our purpose. The learning is in the journey itself.

The author, on the right, with new friends she has made since her recent move to Maine

Shirley DeLong is a retired IT Professional. She moved to Maine in 2018 from her home state of Pennsylvania to be close to her daughter and son-in-law. Shirley enjoys gardening, throwing dinner parties and hosting game nights. Volunteering has always been an important part of her life. She has helped adults earn their GEDs, worked with homeless families, and, most recently, abused women.