GUEST POST by MICHAEL STEINMAN That you are reading this surely means you don’t need it. But I ask your indulgence. When interacting with children we often try to teach civility, by prompting, “What’s the magic word?” [...]
Pat Taub
We have core stories we tell ourselves that trap us in a negative narrative: “If I speak up, my feelings might be hurt; I’m too shy to make new friends; I’m too old to take on a new project.” Esther Perel, the popular relationship therapist, contends the stories we tell ourselves are adaptive responses to childhood trauma, when [...]
Pat Taub
This was Rodney King’s plea in 1992, when he was physically assaulted by the LA cops during that year’s race riots. Thirty-two years later American society still struggles to “get along.” Now it appears that Trump’s re-election has intensified our differences. I’ve been surprised at the rancor among gentle people, like the women [...]
Pat Taub
What if you had a chance to pose lingering questions to important people in your life who are now deceased? Poet Victoria Chang did this very thing, writing letters to her deceased parents, which she compiled into the book, “Dear Memory.” Chang, in trying to come to terms with her sketchy knowledge of her parents’ upbringing [...]
Pat Taub
GUEST POST by JANE SESKIN I was about to cross the street when I looked to the right and saw my friend riding toward me. I knew it was Ann from her distinctive red bicycle helmet. She pulled over to the curb. We caught up on personal news and the state of the world. I left the encounter smiling. She was an energetic woman in her late 60’s [...]
Pat Taub
GUEST POST by MICHAEL STEINMAN Life-changing wisdom can come to us by surprise. I worked with the novelist and New Yorker editor Writer William Maxwell in his last decade. After he had died, I read that he had brought his fiancée Emmy to meet his father in 1945. His father, a somber man, was delighted, and advised his son, “If you [...]
Pat Taub
GUEST POST by SHIRLEY DELONG Remember when the only way to figure out how to get to a place you’d never been before was to use a paper map? If you were like me, you’d write down all the road names in order, each left or right turn you had to make, approximate mileage and some landmarks to help you know you were on the right track. Or depending [...]
Pat Taub
GUEST POST by MICHAEL STEINMAN A self-confessed dinosaur, I have always liked telephone conversations, especially the old-fashioned kind: two friends, one (me) on a landline, perhaps drinking tea, leisurely describing events but more endearingly, feelings. The telephone handset made possible the kinds of intimacy one might be shy of having [...]
Pat Taub
“Grief is the price you pay for love.” Amy Bloom For a long time, as hard as I tried, I was awkward and uncomfortable in my attempts to comfort the newly grief-stricken. When a close friend or relative was hit with a death, I fulfilled my moral obligation to make contact, but no matter how often I reached out to someone who was grieving, [...]
Pat Taub
Brene Brown, the popular self-help writer and TED speaker, insists that not until we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, can we truly live. You might be scratching your head thinking, “But I feel vulnerable a lot and my life is hardly a bowl of cherries.” This isn’t the association Brown has in mind. She wants us to embrace our vulnerability [...]
Pat Taub
Science is beginning to recognize what most older women inherently know: there is a strong correlation between longevity and close friendships. In other words, loneliness can hasten the grim reaper’s arrival. Maybe this is why so many widowed men turn into cranky old fogies unless they remarry quickly. As a young girl I observed my mother’s [...]
Pat Taub