Pat Taub
I have a friend who’s been telling me for years that she’s going to take Italian lessons. Another friend has a long-standing dream to visit Japan. For just as long every time I pass an art supply store I revisit my dream of taking up watercolors.
We’re all members of the late-in-life dream club whose engine is stalled. But it doesn’t have to be this way if we follow George Eliot’s immortal words, “It’s never too late to be the woman you might have been.”
A woman caught up in her daydreams
To make your dream a reality start by taking it seriously.
In a journal or on your laptop record your dream: describe it in detail followed by the steps involved to make it happen. If your dream is to take watercolor lessons, find out where classes are offered in your area. Pick a class that fits your schedule. Bite the bullet and sign up. If you need a month or two to prepare emotionally, that’s fine but don’t wait too long or your dream will remain on hold.
Another way to prepare for settling into your dream is to visualize it.
Imagine yourself in front of an easel, mixing colors and wearing a beret for a touch of fun. Prepare a pep talk for when self-doubt creeps in, reminding yourself that beginnings are hard for everyone but embracing your dream will allow you to grow into a fuller, happier person.
Trying to visualize a dream towards making it a reality
Tell your dream to a friend, sharing your timeline for tackling your dream. Make a dream pact with her where she reveals her own long delayed dream and where you support one another by checking in with progress reports.
A dream to try something new can be as small as committing to morning walks, cooking one new recipe each week, keeping a journal, buying fresh flowers regularly or starting a meditation practice. Dreams are the way we expand our lives. Dreams allow us to grow in new ways. Dreams that are actualized give our lives meaning.
A dream to add beauty to your life might involve fresh flowers
Dreams are not always about personal goals. They can and often do involve social action like joining the Extinction Rebellion movement, working for migrant rights or for a favorite political candidate. You might consider mentoring a young activist. Dreams of helping others are food for the soul.
Dreams of serving community might include participation in the Extinction Rebellion movement
As older women we face dream barriers by living in a society that doesn’t value our continued growth.
Consequently many older adults don’t give themselves permission to dream. Stagnation can lead to depression and low self-worth. We have to fight the stereotype of the older woman who spends her later years disappearing from society.
Older women often feel invisible which can hamper acting on one’s dreams
Remarkable achievements have been made by older women acting on their dreams while in their 80’s and ‘90’s.
Beatrice Wood, the noted ceramic artist who had lovers decades younger, completed her most productive work from the age of 80 until her death at 105. The Japanese artist, Yayoi Kusama, 89, is so popular that her recent touring installations in major art museums, sold out in hours everywhere they were exhibited. Diana Athill, the deliciously outspoken British editor and writer published her first memoir at 89 and the second one at 98!
Beatrice Wood, ceramic artist, whose most productive work was from 80 until her death at 105.
Get on board: dust off your dreams and enter a new world with a new you. Join the Dream Corps of older women dreaming of interesting lives where they enrich themselves and their communities!
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