Pat Taub
Over coffee, a friend suggested that I write a blog offering guidelines for meaningful aging. This week I’m taking her suggestion to heart. Here’s what I came up with:
Honor Your Failures
Reframe your “failures” as risks you took where you stuck your neck out. Examine them for the lessons they presented and move on where you promise yourself to stop obsessing over your past.
Practice Compassion
Compassion is our better nature. It ushers us into the light. Focus on compassionate conversation where you develop empathy for one with whom you differ. Don’t overlook self-compassion. When feeling blue, treat yourself to an orchid plant, a luxuriating herbal bath, or a queenly food, like lobster.
Tend to Your Soul
Develop a spiritual practice that calms your soul. Meditate daily, if only for 10 minutes to start. You might want to join those women who meditate by their home altar, featuring candles, flowers, and keepsakes, like family photos and a treasured poem.
Practice Gratitude
Another calming practice. Begin each day by expressing gratitude for the positives in your life. It can be as simple as appreciating a morning’s full sun streaming into your living room.
The benefits of practicing gratitude
Reach Out
Reaching out is challenging for many women, who worry that they’ll be seen as imposing ,or worse, that they’ll be turned down. This is unlikely because most people want to help. So, when sick, don’t hesitate to call a friend to make a run for chicken soup. Or when lonely, arrange a coffee date with a new acquaintance. The more you reach out, the easier it becomes.
Volunteer
Volunteering gives your life meaning and connects you to your town. Many communities are low on resource staff, eager for volunteers to augment their programs. Examples are working with the unhoused, victims of domestic violence and assisting migrant families.
Be A Citizen of the World
Another activity that enriches your life. Find a global cause that moves you. Examples are joining the movement for an immediate ceasefire in Gaza and Elders for Climate Action.
Laugh and Smile More
Laughter releases feel-good endorphins, helping to reduce stress. Watch zany films; dig into classic humorists like James Thurber, or make-up a silly story for a grand. “She who laughs, lasts.”
Cultivate Your Close Relationships
Don’t let your relationships with family and friends slide. Don’t just email but send letters and cards through the mail, which signify you made an extra effort to keep in touch.
Commit to Healthy Eating
If you suffer from high cholesterol or an inflammatory disease, like arthritis, consider a meatless diet, that centers on fruits and vegetables. Healthy eating promotes a positive mind set and better sleep.
Get Outside as Much as Possible
Many people herald the benefits of a daily walk to keep fit and reduce stress.
Take Naps
I love my power naps. As a friend once remarked, quoting Shakespeare: “Naps are nature’s nurse.”
Don’t be Paralyzed by Fears of Death
As we age, the Grim Reaper lurks in the background. Death becomes less scary when we prepare for our death. Have a do-not-resituate order in place. Talk to loved ones about how you want to be treated when you are dying. Educate yourself about the services of Hospice and Death Doulas.
Reach for New Horizons
Shake off those ageist sayings that regard old age as stagnant, when in reality aging is a state of continuing growth. Slower bodies do not equate with diminished creativity. View this stage as an opportunity to let your creativity blossom. Dust off drafts of stories you filed away. Take up a new hobby like watercolors or learn to play the ukulele.
