Pat Taub
Did you know, if you’re an older woman, you possess superpowers?
On first reading this, you might feel baffled. Many older women have grown used to feeling diminished through the cultural messages which define us in terms of our aging bodies. But we’re much more than our wrinkles, reduced flexibility, puffy tummies and gray hairs.
Maturity has granted us superpowers. Isn’t it time to own yours?
The older woman’s superpowers are the key to graceful aging. They bestow pride and a positive outlook.
Penelope Lively, the British memoirist, embodies graceful aging
A big superpower is the opportunity to deepen our close relationships now that we have unrushed time for these connections. Often our younger selves were too busy to be in the moment. Today I cherish anew my intimate relationships with family and friends. I listen more carefully to them, striving to see their perspective, especially when we disagree. A loving heart overcomes former knee jerk reactions. It’s one of my superpowers.
A celebratory family gathering with my two sons, daughter-in-law and grands
Here are some of my superpowers, which I share with other aging women:
Being a true grown up has made me calmer with a sharper focus. Now that I’m less reactive and less consumed with worry, I can see more clearly. I don’t get in my own way as much as when I was younger–something my mother constantly told me when I was growing up.
I care less what others think of me. This doesn’t give me a license to be mean or disrespectful, but to free myself from society’s expectations of being the compliant little old lady. I speak my mind, risking disapproval, when my beliefs are unpopular. I have more integrity.
Writer Abagail Thomas, who projects an outspoken, self-assured older woman
Peggy Seeger, the now 90-year-old folk singer, has my number when she triumphantly sings, “Here comes the invisible woman.” Like Peggy, I find a new freedom in my invisibility. Now I enter a restaurant or social gathering, happily free of the male gaze and of wardrobe scrutiny. I delight in surprising young people when they suddenly notice me after I’ve made an intelligent comment.
I make time to greet each day with gratitude. I give thanks for my health, financial security, and the fulfillment I receive from writing and the integrity when I stand for Gaza. I take in small miracles anew rather than quickly registering them and moving on. When I walk past a young mother being affectionate with her toddler, I bask in their tender act, grateful for the joy they bring to my day.
I love being eccentric, which I always have been to a lesser degree. Now I can wear an outrageous outfit without giving it a second thought. Because I’m curious, I enjoy striking up conversations with interesting strangers without worrying about their impressions of me. Usually they’re happy to converse, but when this doesn’t happen, it’s no big deal. (When my adult children are along, they might roll their eyes.)
Two previously unknown woman striking up a conversation
Because my time is running out, I feel that I have little to lose by taking a stand through blogging or in protest lines to advocate for peace and justice. Here I am joined by brave older women across the globe protesting Western support for Israel’s genocide in Gaza. Recently the UK arrested over 900 peaceful protesters for standing with Palestine Action. Among the arrested were scores of elderly women, like 83 year-old, retired minister, Sue Parfitt.
Rev, Sue Parfitt being arrested
While I have plenty of days when the horrific genocide in Gaza and Trump’s growing authoritarianism pull me down, I’m more resilient than I was decades ago. I like to think of myself as among those older adults whose emotional intelligence has expanded. A recent interview in the New York Times quoted psychologist, Dr. Ken Dychtwald, “Emotional intelligence rises as we age.” For me, aging has made my heart bigger. I couldn’t ask for a better superpower.
