While I’m an elder, I hadn’t given a lot of thought to dying, that is until my brother, who’s 20 months younger, announced in...
Aging Thoughtfully10
Spiritual Companionship
GUEST POST by JACOB WATSON At 80, I’ve come to appreciate that the most important component of life is the spiritual realm. I was awakened to this realization through my work with the late Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. She taught us that the spiritual quadrant is an equal part of the four quadrants (intellectual, emotional, physical and spiritual) [...]
Pat Taub
The Mother-in-Law Curse
When my oldest son became engaged, a luncheon was arranged to introduce me to his finance’s family. When I glanced around the table, I caught my future daughter-in-law’s sisters scrutinizing me. I experienced the uncomfortable sensation that I was being sized-up to determine the extent to which I’d be a problematic mother-in-law. I [...]
Pat Taub
Gratitude To the Women Who Shaped My Life
As we move into Women’s History Month, the tendency is to celebrate famous women in the arts and politics, giving short strife to those less famous women who made an indelible impression on our lives. For Women’s History Month, I’m honoring relatives, neighbors, schoolteachers, and others who took me under their wing to model courage, [...]
Pat Taub
How to Support One Who’s Grieving
“Grief is the price you pay for love.” Amy Bloom For a long time, as hard as I tried, I was awkward and uncomfortable in my attempts to comfort the newly grief-stricken. When a close friend or relative was hit with a death, I fulfilled my moral obligation to make contact, but no matter how often I reached out to someone who was grieving, [...]
Pat Taub
My Unconventional Valentine’s Rituals
Several years ago, when I grew weary of my unpartnered Valentine’s Days limited to red construction paper hearts from my grandchildren or Internet offers of bargain chocolates, I decided to make a ritual of doing something special for myself on Valentine’s Day, so I wouldn’t feel left out. That first year I indulged in a longtime desire [...]
Pat Taub
It’s Never Too Late to Follow a Dream
I have a friend who’s been telling me for years that she’s going to take Italian lessons. Another friend has a long-standing dream to visit Japan. For just as long, every time I pass an art supply store I revisit my dream of taking up watercolors. We’re members of the late-in-life dream club whose engine is stalled. But it doesn’t [...]
Pat Taub
“I Hate Getting Old”
I recently received an email from a WOW reader, who confessed to being angry about aging: “I hate getting old. I hate the wrinkles, sleep problems and bouts of loneliness . . . I hate having aged out of the dating scene.” The reader’s complaints carry a universal ring in our ageist and sexist culture, which presents a formidable [...]
Pat Taub
The Secrets of the Dog Park
GUEST POST by BARBARA BENGELS I’m a dog run junkie. There’s hardly a day that goes by when my husband and I are not at a local dog run with my daughter’s 2 ½ year old pup who lives with us. I’d like to say that this is all to benefit our Penelope—but I’d be lying. Yes, Penny looks forward to these excursions every day—to [...]
Pat Taub
Practicing Forgiveness Is a Game Changer
Forgiveness is especially meaningful late in life. This is the time to wipe the slate clean, to do away with emotional baggage that prevents us from living in the moment. To quote Ram Dass: “The role of elders is to move away from ego into soul.” What could be better for the soul than to practice forgiveness? You might ask: “How [...]
Pat Taub
How Mentorship Helped Me Find My Way in My Seventies
GUEST POST by PAMELA VALOIS I met Jacomena Maybeck when I was thirty-seven and she was in her late seventies. She was tarring her roof, dressed in a halter top and shorts. I’d never met anyone like her. Our long friendship would help prepare me for my own winter years that I now find myself in, at age seventy-seven. In her memoir, Jacomena [...]
Pat Taub