Pat Taub
The writer, Lily Iona MacKenzie admits that she finds aging hard, but when asked if there are advantages to being an older woman, Lily offers a big smile, followed by the response, “I get to celebrate my wisdom.”
But what if one is having trouble accessing her wisdom? For help in getting on the wisdom path, I’ve compiled responses from several wise women I know. A common thread is the richness they uncovered by thoughtfully contemplating their lives, making time each day to meditate by sitting in silence, talking a walk, or listening to classical music. Quiet time, done with an open heart, allows our inner wisdom and creative adaptations to surface.
Mary Pipher, author of “Women Rowing North” in reflective moded
Adelaide Winstead, 92, an artist, loves the contentment afforded by her waterfront home.
I often daydream sitting by the water. This experience gives meaning to my life.
Adelaide’s reflection time has rewarded her with a new appreciation for her aging body.
I see the raw as beautiful. I find energy in the raw. By this I mean beauty in the imperfect. This is a change brought on by aging and my changing body. I now find the imperfect, like clumps of weeds, more acceptable. My body may be ugly in some ways, but I have never loved it more.
Adelaide Winstead. and Connie Chandler-Ward (Adelaide created the wall tapestry)
Connie Chandler-Ward, 82, turns a loss of memory into a gift:
I have trouble with names. I see this as a gift it that it becomes an introduction to mystery rather than knowing.
Connie even converts the loss of her partner into a gift:
For the first time in my life, I’m alone, following the death of my partner two years ago. I find the gift in living alone allows me to be undisturbed. Without the presence of another I am expanding in a new way. There is no one to reflect back to me, so a new aspect of my life is opening.
Alexandra Merrill working with a women’s group in India, c. 2007
Like Adelaide and Connie, Alexandra Merrill, 80, doesn’t regard old age as stagnant or depressing. She told me, “I’m not done with my transformation.” Alexandra has developed a list of questions to guide her:
What must I still learn?
What is there to teach?
What do I need to pass on?
How can I still be of service?
How can I use my remaining years in the service of compassion?
Lily Iona MacKenzie giving a book reading. Her novel,”Fling,” features a feisty 90 y.o. woman
Lily Iona MacKenzie, who’s still rolling out books at 80, is in accord with Alexandra, on the importance of viewing old age as one of continual growing and learning. Lily discovered that creative expressions can bring together our inner and outer worlds and lead to new insights.
A recent Washington Post article defines creativity as instrumental to meaningful aging, where creativity isn’t limited to painting, writing or making music. Engagement with a social cause or community organization is a chance to engage in creative problem solving.
An older woman feverishly creating (National Portrait Gallery, London)
All four women exhibit a tender self-love, where a kind regard for self has replaced a list of grievances, self-haranguing or anger at getting old. I think their secret might be a continual curiosity about the mystery of life and a willingness to sit with their questions to allow them to soften. They allow themselves to enter a sacred space without self-blame or judgment.
To set the stage for your wisdom path, take a cue from author Mary Piper, who starts each day by finding something to celebrate. It could be as simple as observing the birds outside her kitchen window while she sips her morning coffee.
Other women start their day journaling about what’s going on in their lives. Sometimes their journals include dreams from the previous nights, which can be a source of self-knowledge. Many women find time in nature opens them up to new possibilities. Others have started “Awakening Circles,” where they meet in one another’s homes to share anxieties about aging along with positive self-discoveries.
Journaling can assist in identifying new creative paths
Whatever wisdom path you choose, take heart knowing you’re part of an ever growing circle of wise women. As Ram Dass famously said: “We are all walking one another home.”
