Pat Taub
The Language of Kindness by Christie Watson is one of those rare books that make your heart come alive. After I finished it, I felt a surging love for close friends and family, even a deeper connection to strangers I passed on the street.
Watson’s book is an account of her 20 years as a nurse in London hospitals. As a student nurse Watson has her share of stumbles: gagging while cleaning up blood and feces; breaking a needle in a patient’s leg; dropping a patient—the leading cause of injuries for nurses is back pain due to all the heavy lifting of patients. Watson’s supervising nurses patiently take her mistakes in stride, helping her to rectify her mistakes, while reassuring an unsure Watson, “You’ll make a great nurse.”
Christie Watson next to her book’s cover
Over time Watson discovers that while nurses have to be medically proficient, the key to good nursing is kindness.
From older, experienced nurses Watson learns how to hone her sixth sense, knowing when a patient needs her to stop doing what she’s doing, pull up a chair by the bedside and just listen, hold a hand, or comb their hair.
Watson becomes skilled at working with dying patients, mastering the art of listening or simply being there when speech is no longer possible. There is a moving account where Watson prepares the body of a child whose severe burns from a fire caused her to die in hospital. Watson wants the family to see their daughter in the best possible light so she washes the little girl’s hair to remove the strong smoky smell, cleans her arms and legs and brushes her teeth before the family is admitted to say their farewells.
A nurse practicing the language of kindness
This powerful memoir speeds along. I kept turning the pages to learn if a child would survive his emergency surgery or whether the premature baby would live. The outcomes often surprise Watson, but she learns that kindness can help to turn the tide.
I wondered, “Is there a language of kindness for all of us?” The Dali Lama has said that his religion “is the religion of kindness.” He offers this advice to live by: “Practice kindness whenever possible. It is always possible.”
How do we learn to practice kindness or make it conscious?
One way is to adopt the concept of “random acts of kindness.” There is even a related website which offers examples like: “Be a welcoming neighbor; pick up trash from the sidewalks; send a handwritten letter.” I also like simple everyday acts like smiling and offering a greeting to passer-byes; giving your place in line to a frazzled mother or an elder.
A touching example of a “random act of kindness”
Kindness includes kindness to self, particularly when feeling low. Kindness directed to the self might include making a list of your strengths, vowing to refrain from harsh self-judgments, and spending contemplative time in nature.
While self-care is important Watson reminded me that the greatest rewards come from helping others where in return you receive a smile or a hug and the inner warmth knowing that you’ve made the world a little bit better for someone else.
Many children instinctively practice kindness
Watson believes that love is the best antidote to darkness, which feels like the perfect message for the dark times we inhabit. Kindness can also take the form of peace and justice work, protesting in the names of those less fortunate, where championing the cause of migrant families becomes a huge act of kindness.
Kindness practice includes taking a stand for the less fortunate, like in this pro-Palestinian rally
Thanks to Christie Watson I’ve developed a new respect and admiration for nurses. I live across the street from a hospital, frequently passing nurses on their cigarette breaks or rushing to and from work. Where I once saw women in uniform now I see women who are the embodiment of love and compassion. Sometimes I strike up a conversation with these nurses when I’m watering my garden. The next time we chat, I will be sure to thank them for all they do.
