Pat Taub
Many older women find themselves feeling empty when they retire. At work they were valued for their contributions and intellect, while enjoying the camaraderie of workplace associates. Once they retire they often face a big void.
Some try to fill it with hobbies, travel, extended lunches with close friends, or taking courses at the local senior college. While these are all creditable choices, and provide short-term value, they often don’t replace the meaning work held. What’s an old girl to do? Fall into depression and mark time until the end comes? Or, sink her teeth into making new choices that will provide meaning of a different sort than work, but of equal value?
The older women I know who are happiest with their lives make it a practice to give back to community.
Raging Grannies, New York City, 2014 (commonnills.blogspot)
They volunteer on a regular basis at their churches or synagogues, for local service groups, like soup kitchens, write letters to the editor, join political causes, where they blog and/or protest, and regularly inspire young people when they march with them in rallies. They are indomitable role models.
Or they revisit creative interests abandoned when they were younger. They follow George Elliot’s immortal words,
“It’s never too late to be the woman you might have been.”
When I was a small girl my mother purchased drapes made from fabric printed with folksy New England landscapes, explaining that they were copied from paintings made by the artist, Grandma Moses. I was enchanted with the notion that a really old woman could still be an artist. Now that I’m zeroing in on the same age as Dear Old Grandma Moses, creating at old age doesn’t sound as far fetched as it once did. In fact it feels like the only way to age. I write, I blog, and keep working up the nerve to return to that box of pastels abandoned in my youth.
Two happy nuns who took up painting late in life
What dreams have you shelved for a career, family, or couple time?
How does one start to actualize her older self? I can’t think of a better way than to carve out personal space, a spin on Virginia Wolfe’s famous advice, “A Room of One’s Own.” If you can’t dedicate an entire room for yourself, claim a desk, a filing cabinet (for storing inspirational articles and other gems) and a small bookcase. Start by sitting down in your new consecrated space and meditate with a focus on summoning your inner artist.
Commit to a daily journal where you jot down whatever bubbles up.
(For guidelines consult The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron.) In less time than you think you’ll hit pay dirt where repressed dreams and talents start to surface.
You’re never too old to take a risk! (UK, Daily Mail)
In addition to journaling, promise yourself to take one small risk a week towards creating more meaning in your life: volunteer for a organization that speaks to you, take solo walks since contemplative walks are proven to awaken the muse, sign up for a course like beginner’s yoga or writing your memoir, just do anything worthwhile that feels new. These new ventures may feel a little scary, but plunge ahead because overcoming your fears is how you grow. Eventually you’ll feel more alive, more confident and more connected to the larger world where a new older you is within reach.
