Pat Taub
80 years have gone by and now it seems I’m not here at all.
Here comes the invisible woman.
I can’t recall when it first happened.
Don’t know how I became so unseen.
My tangible self was put on the shelf.
Why do I feel so much less then I am?
There’s so much more of me now.
We might not have a choice, but we still have a voice.
Here comes the Invisible Woman!
She won’t go away.
She has plenty to say!
— “The Invisible Woman,” from 85-year-old folk singer Peggy Seeger’s new album, “First Farewell.”
While so many older women lament becoming invisible when their youthful looks fade, replaced by wrinkles, grey hair, and plumper forms, Peggy Seeger refuses to let being invisible get her down.
Why does the Invisible Woman Syndrome have such a strong influence on the older woman? The short answer is that we live in a culture that equates a woman’s worth with her outward appearance. When looks fade so does a woman’s currency.
The beauty industry makes a fortune from women’s anxieties about “losing their looks.” Face lifts, Botox, punishing exercise and diet plans broadcast that plastic surgery and a whittled down body will keep you forever young.
Feminists argue that these superficial markers are promoted to disempower the older woman, silencing her from using her voice of experience. If a woman doesn’t act her age, than she can’t adopt the persona of the wise older woman, contributing her wisdom the way she did centuries ago when the elder woman, or Crone, was sought out for her guidance.
Lore Segal, who at 93 refuses to be made invisible, and continues to write memorable fiction
Many women recognize the absurdity of trying to look forever young, but feel helpless to break out of this web.
All is not lost. There are steps that will free you. First, allow yourself to get good and mad over the rampant sexism and ageism that spurns the older female face. Use your righteous indignation to claim your inner and outer beauty.
Take a new, fresh look at your face. Is there not majesty in your lines of lived experience? In your eyes that reflect the serenity of acquired wisdom? In the way your heart comes alive at seeing humanity through experienced eyes?
Angela Davis’ soulful beauty radiates in her face lined with wisdom and confidence
For inspiration in claiming your wise woman voice, look to celebrated women like 77-year-old activist, Angela Davis, artist, Etel Adan, 96, political writer, Barbara Ehrenreich, 79, humorist Betty White, 99, and actress Judi Dench, 86. They refuse to be silenced. If anything their voices grow stronger and clearer with the passage of time.
It’s not just famous women whose older voices resonate. In my community, there’s 85-year-old Margaret, who is a constant presence at peace and justice protests; Jocelyn, who takes nude photographs of older women, capturing the freedom they exhibit in their older bodies; or the countless number of older women discovering their voices as they write their biographies. Once one steps back and engages in serious reflection, there is often a moment of recognizing one’s strengths anew. For me, it’s akin to: “I can’t believe at 46 I risked a new venture when I had little money and was a struggling single parent.”
Many older women feel empowered writing their bios, which help them to claim their strengths
I have secret powers as an invisible woman.
I can enter a restaurant alone without the self-consciousness of my younger self, feeling embarrassed at dining solo, or worried that I don’t look stylish enough. I can raise my hand at community meetings and delight in the surprised faces around me, not expecting that old lady to be so well informed and articulate.
An invisible woman enjoying her own company
Another secret invisible womanpower is the delight I take in allowing my authentic self to blossom. I can wear dramatic clothes one day and a beat-up T-shirt and scruffy khakis another. I can strike up conversations with people I know vaguely, intrigued by them and wanting to know more, not worried if I appear too forward.
Here’s to all the older women, whose soulful beauty moves and inspires me. Watch out world, “Here Comes An Army of Invisible Women!”
