Hair Stories

Recently we’ve been seeing lots of stories on older women going gray or white during Covid.  Deciding it would be interesting to unpack these stories, I posted on the WOW Facebook page, asking women how they feel about their hair post Covid.  I am pleased to report that the majority in my sample has made peace with their hair.  Many felt liberated ditching their dye bottles.  The racy ones went hog wild, posting photos of their neon blue or rainbow colored hair.

To Dye or Not to Dye

While most of the women who responded to my query reported embracing their new gray or white hair, some continue to dye their hair.  Mary and Kim are among the latter, insisting that they’re not comfortable with their uneven, mousy streaks of gray. Kim commented, “I feel uncomfortable with the assertion that letting one’s hair go gray, makes one more authentic. Coloring is not consistent with a denial of aging.”

Nancy dyed her hair at the insistence of her husband.  “I’m nine years older than my (hopefully) soon-to-be ex.  He didn’t want people to think he had an older wife, so he insisted that I color it so I wouldn’t look old. I was such an idiot to go along with his BS.”

Eva echoes the freedom many women discovered once they stopped dying: “I am no longer a slave to my roots.”

Holly, very happy with her new white hair

Walker welcomes her new gray hairs as part of her comfort with aging.

Martha confronts the social pressure to dye one’s hair:  “Am I decorating myself for me or for you?”

Making Peace with Wild Hair

Eileen has thrown in the towel when it comes to battling her hair, saying, “I’m gray and I don’t care.”

Theresa fought her curls all her life. “I ironed my hair in the ‘60s; wrapped it every night before bed in the ‘70s and ‘80s.  My struggles continued until I finally accepted my curly reality.”

Theresa with her power curls

For Margie, Covid brought a new appreciation for her luxurious hair.  “I was sick of fighting the curls and the weight and cut it the shortest I’ve ever had it. I LOVE IT!!!

Marjorie is also hair positive: “I was blessed with a full, thick healthy head of hair thanks to both of my parents, who also had healthy hair. I’ve never dyed it and never will! Big hair shall prevail!”

Marjorie luxuriating in her full head of hair

Jo has allowed her hair to have its way.  “My hair is in control of itself. I quit doing battle with it.  Some days it just doesn’t look good.”

Accepting Older Hair

Emma resists dwelling on her formerly thick hair that is “now thinning and receding . . I don’t mind because my inner hair shines.”

Kim discovered an unexpected advantage to aging hair: “My hair is now so dry that I can go days without washing it.”

Aging hair offers the freedom to shampoo less frequently.

Hair Affected by illness

For Vanessa, hair conflicts are a luxury. She elaborates, “I wish I had hair. Alopecia is devastating. (It causes hair loss, as represented by US Rep. Ayanna Pressley.)  Once I accepted it, I began to wear wigs.  Now I have just the hair I want, whenever I want.”

Hair Fun

Gwen found a new freedom in her hair when she retired and no longer felt the pressure to meet the hair expectations of the corporate world. “I enjoy the freedom to experiment.” In the past she sported a “spiky style” and is open to future hair experiments.

Kristine has no intention of giving up her beautiful waist length hair.

Kristine with her signature long hair

Dora went gray and is now ready for experimenting with her hair.  “I’m letting it grow long so I can coil it into a bun, braid it or let it fly in the wind.”

Victoria loves trying out over-the-top colors like her current neon blue hair.  “I treat my hair color like choosing fingernail polish.”

The “Hair Fun Prize” has to go to Rainbow, who at 85 has show-stopping rainbow colored hair, as befits her name.

Rainbow with her rainbow colored hair

Whether one’s hair is gray, white, red, brown or purple, we’re all joined as older women, boldly expressing our individuality and accepting our differences, while our wisdom radiates.

Disclosure:  Because my sample was answered by white women, it doesn’t include hair issues of Black, Latino and Asian women, and women from other ethnic groups.