Debunking “Age Is Only A Number”

Birthday milestones are celebrated with fanfare until one reaches middle age and beyond when getting old carries a downside.

A baby’s first birthday is a time when infancy moves into small personhood.  Becoming a teen at 13 is seen as a beginning entry into adulthood.  Other rites of passage are: obtaining a driver’s license at 16; earning the right to vote at 18.  Twenty-one makes you a full-fledged adult.

As young as 30, birthday jubilations start to shift with the warning that old age is right around the corner.

By middle age our youth-obsessed culture is in full swing. Birthdays are frequently mocked with greetings like, “Happy Birthday Old Fart,” causing many to dread these passages. Hence the popularized saying, “Age is only a number,” is delivered to calm the uneasy celebrant.

Why can’t we mark our 60’s, 70s, 80’s and 90’s with the same positivity by which we honor earlier passages in our life?  What can’t these decades be celebrations to honor the wisdom years?

I have a friend who’s about to turn 90. She has a lifetime of dedication as a peace and  justice worker.  Close friends will honor her birthday with deep appreciation for her contributions to society. For her, age is more than a number. It represents standing up for minorities, traveling to South America to support groups working to end corruption, consistently joining anti-war groups and earning a reputation for her letters to the editor decrying local injustices.

Jane Goodall at her 90th birthday party, an esteemed wise woman

For my friend aging is so much more than a number. It’s the culmination of a life of adventure and dedication to humanitarian causes. It would be insulting to her to dismiss her milestone birthday with this trite saying.  She personifies the wisdom years.

In respect to our physical selves, “Age is only a number,” is just plain fallacious. 

As we age there is a gradual slowing down.  One can’t perform the same activities at 70 that she could at 30.  Just because our bodies change doesn’t mean we can’t embrace life fully, albeit differently. We learn to compensate and accept our limitations.  I love foreign travel, but in my eighth decade I can no longer walk European cities for miles at a time, hence I’m investigating train travel.

Let’s get down to brass tacks: embracing the saying, “Age is only a number,” is a death avoidance perspective.  Americans (pardon the pun) are scared to death of dying.

When we embrace our older birthdays, we accept that aging brings us closer to the end of life.  Through this realization we are offered the chance to appreciate each day anew.  With this awareness we can be fully engaged during visits with our grandkids, savor our close friendships, and adopt a fresh perspective for dreams we harbor.  I long to see the Hermitage in St. Petersburg.  If I make it there, I will be in a state of gratitude, savoring every moment.

Meditation is a valuable practice for living in the moment

Aging women can draw inspiration from ancient women’s societies that regarded the wise woman, labeled the Crone, as the highest stage of development.  She personified the wisdom years.  This may be hard to believe, but it was a time when younger women, rather than dreading getting old, anticipated becoming a crone.  The reverence for the older woman still exists in indigenous cultures, like among Native Americans.

Let’s all be crones and reject “Age is only a number” in favor of owning our ages. Let’s hold our heads high, sharing our wisdom with pride.  Society desperately needs the wise, benevolent crone perspective to counter the male-dominated war machine which represents a daily threat to life on this planet.

Older women exercising their crone power join an intergenerational peace action