Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day.
These immortal words of Dylan Thomas are a suitable motto for Feisty Old Broads, older women who reject the stereotype of the accommodating old lady. The FOB’s are women who are fearless in their individuality. They speak truth to power, laugh a lot, have big hearts, and project confidence. They no longer worry what others think of them. They have aged into their authentic selves.
We all have an inner Feisty Old Broad. If you haven’t released her, this is a good time. The world needs her spirit. You can draw on your FOB energy by remembering the Feisty Old Broads in your families, or mentors in the form of teachers, neighbors and acquaintances, frequently overlooked because they don’t carry the star power of famous FOB’s, like the outspoken actress Judi Dench. Once we identify the Feisty Old Broads who influenced us, we can own our strengths and honor the women who paved our road to aging with gusto.
In my case, I am indebted to my older cousin Esther, who was an aspiring actress in New York City in the 60’s. Esther was a full-blown FOB in her lust for life. Her tiny Village apartment was eclipsed by a baby grand piano. When I visited Esther, as an impressionable teen, she frequently hosted actor friends who would drink and sing while she hit the keyboard. During one of my visits, cops banged on the door, demanding that Esther tone down the noise. As soon as the cops left, the ruckus resumed. Esther nurtured my fun-loving spirit.
My mother’s antique business partner, Elizabeth, was a consummate reader who introduced me to Colette and other classic writers. Elizabeth was easily outraged by injustice. She was always dashing off Letters to the Editor of the New York Times, several of which were published. I am grateful to Elizabeth for introducing me to memorable writers and for encouraging me to stand up to injustices.
When the Women’s Movement came along, I joined a CR (Consciousness Raising) group, discovering the empowerment from being in community with other feisty women. Years later I joined a women’s spiritual retreat center where I had some remarkable guides, who affirmed me in ways that boosted my self confidence, while stoking my curiosity in spiritual matters. They modeled a sacred side to being feisty that flowed from compassion.
I’ve been inspired by Codepink, the women’s peace and justice group, who boldly interrupt Congressional hearings to speak truth to power. They were my inspiration when I found myself on an airplane with Maine’s then Senator Olympia Snowe. I (nervously) challenged her for going along with US military policies in Afghanistan that took innocent lives. Her administrative assistant gave me the evil eye, a frequent response to Feisty Old Broads.
Reading books by Feisty Old Broads has fortified me. I drew and continue to draw strength from Gloria Steinem, Audre Lorde, Angela Davis, Ursula Le Guin along with comedic writers like Judith Viorst.
Whenever I read about woman artists or writers whose creative output continued through their 90’s, I take a deep breath of gratitude for their presence. Diana Athill wrote feisty late-in-life memoirs full of humor and a delight in being alive. Her last book was published in her 98th year.
Above all, I am deeply grateful to close friends and women’s circles that renew me when my self-doubts surface. I could never be a FOB without my sister FOB’s.
The next time someone calls you a, “Feisty Old Broad,” wear it as a badge of honor and get to work. The world needs us to reset the course from greed and endless wars to caring for one another and the planet.