Look Before You Leap

GUEST POST by MARY LOU MACKIN

Before I retired my life was safe and predictable.  I couldn’t imagine what it would mean not to work.

I was responsible for a large publishing team, two demanding authors, and a product line that delivered the lion’s share of company revenues year after year.  I was an adept problem solver.  I flew under the radar. I knew how to build a team and support them to get the job done. My other job was keeping the authors happy.  This required being able to anticipate their needs and wants while steering them towards the finish line. No sooner would one project finish when another one would begin.

A fullfilling professional team similar to what the author experienced

Then one day I hit a wall. Caught between a rock (the authors) and a hard place (the corporation) I could no longer please everyone.  I had to escape.  I consulted an employment attorney about a separation agreement. I eased myself out gradually, working part-time until my final day.

A week later my son graduated from college.  These events signaled an abrupt end to my dual identities as a working professional and a mother. I called it a retirement, but I really didn’t understand what that meant.

The first several months were just as I dreamed, with lazy mornings and time spent visiting and entertaining friends. Life was good. Then the novelty wore off.

The author discovered that retirement isn’t always as idyllic as it’s portrayed.

Quiet mornings panicked me because I had no plans, no structure.  I felt unmoored.  I had no roadmap.

My work defined me in ways I never considered.  It was what got me up in the morning, dictated the clothes I wore, populated my calendar, and provided social connections that I took for granted. And then there was the validation I no longer received. The paychecks that never materialized in my bank account.

A woman feeling the retirement blues

Weeks turned into months as I watched the seasons come and go outside my window. I became depressed. I sought help, but my recovery was slow. I frantically tried to fill my days by experimenting with new amusements in search of that “passion” that everyone talks about.  Painting class, yoga, pickleball, but nothing filled the gap.  I even applied for part-time jobs I really didn’t want.

The author tried various activities like pickleball, to find meaning in retirement

Little by little I found my footing. I found some meaningful volunteer work and made an intentional effort to meet people through a writing group and my gym.  I got curious about women’s experiences with retirement and discovered I was not alone.

I joined an online community of women trying to figure out their next steps after retirement. One woman was writing a book about her experience and asked me to be her editor.  I had come full circle and found my way back to some work that excited me.

Zoom support group for retired women, similar to one the author belongs to

With the benefit of hindsight and some newly gained wisdom, I have a clearer picture about how I got off course. Before considering retirement, here are five questions I developed to help you decide:

1. What’s driving your decision? Are you really done or are you just burned out and in need of a change?  (And/or are you making the decision for you or someone else?)

2. What will you say when people ask you what you do? (Trust me, saying “I’m retired” draws blank stares.)

3. What will you do when the freedom you yearn for suddenly becomes the very thing you dread?

4. What social network do you have outside of work? (When your calendar empties, you might feel isolated.)

5. How will you feel about spending money on yourself after your last paycheck? (I’m not talking about paying the rent or mortgage, but treating yourself to lunch out, new clothes, travel, etc.)

In year three of retirement, I’m still sorting things out, but I’m on more solid ground. I have a new mission: helping women like me look before they leap.

Mary Lou Mackin is a former elementary school teacher and publishing professional. Recently retired from publishing, Mary Lou is pursuing a freelance editing business as well as a variety of volunteer activities for her local library, food pantry, and a domestic violence organization.  She is also active in her local chapter of Indivisible RISE, dedicated to preserving our democracy.  Mary Lou resides in Amesbury MA and enjoys a vacation home in mid-coast Maine.  She is married, has one son, and one very cute but naughty dog.