Pat Taub
When I think about what has made my life meaningful, it’s come from those experiences where I woke up. Events that rocked my world when I was confronted with truths that ran counter to how I was living my life.
As a young woman I was awakened as a result of living through the Viet Nam war and the second wave of Feminism. As the Viet Nam war progressed, I woke up to the realization that our government bore little resemblance to the peace-loving country projected in my schoolbooks.
A women’s group similar to the Conscious Raising group I attended in Feminist’s second wave
The Women’s Movement woke me up to the numerous ways women were treated as second class citizens. I woke up to the power of collective resistance as I joined with other women for abortion rights and equal rights for women in the workplace.
Waking up became difficult when I had to face the fact that much of what I had been taught amounted to propaganda. It was hard to admit that my favorite newspapers like The New York Times and The Washington Post were slanted towards corporate interests and the White House, ignoring important news events that didn’t serve their interests.
James Bennet, a former NYT editor, has written critically of the paper’s selective reporting
I experienced the power of corporate media firsthand when I was fired from the Syracuse Newspapers for a story that exposed the local adoption industry for taking advantage of birth mothers, frequently pressuring them against their will to surrender their newborn infants. It was a huge wake-up call to recognize that a good story is good only until it doesn’t threaten those running the show.
Waking up can be lonely, like waking up to Gaza’s long history as an apartheid state left me feeling like an outcast. Jewish friends would accuse me of supporting a terrorist organization in the form of Hamas. Non-Jewish friends grew impatient with my references to Gaza, labeling my concerns as ‘depressing them.’
Yours truly on the right, standing for Gaza
Waking up to my family story was initially painful but ultimately redemptive. I had to put my ego aside to recognize my part in my family dramas. I had to sit with my mother’s story to appreciate the trauma she experienced which accounted for her distant behavior. I learned to recast her from bad mother to wounded mother. I came to accept she did the best she could while honoring the gifts she gave me which I had been reluctant to acknowledge. This awakening transformed me into a loving daughter and in general a more accepting person.
My mother, Jane Conrad First, celebrating her 80th birthday
At present waking up to a world in turmoil is such a big challenge that there are plenty of days that I am tempted to look away. It can be overwhelming to take in the huge consequences of climate change; the assault on free speech through the attack on students standing for Palestine, along with penalizing their universities; a heartless ICE campaign to transport migrants, the prospect of losing Medicare and funding for people in need.
To stay awake and keep my bearings I’m limiting my newsfeed while keeping company with likeminded souls who think similarly. I’m incorporating restorative practices like time in nature, reading favorite fiction writers, while offering gratitude for my privileged life.
Time in nature helps me to balance living in turbulent times
In spite of the world’s horrors, I will continue to do all I can to stay awake, by following brave truth-tellers like Christ Hedges and compassionate thinkers like Gabor Mate. As an elder my days are numbered. I want to live out my life in an awakened state. In the words of Mary Oliver:
When it’s over, I don’t want to wonder
If I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened,
or full of argument.
I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.
