This Thanksgiving I’m giving thanks to people who have acted with courage and compassion. Some in a big way and others in small...
People I’m Thankful For
This Thanksgiving I’m giving thanks to people who have acted with courage and compassion. Some in a big way and others in small everyday actions that warmed my heart. Among those to whom I offer a big thanks is Ursula Slavick, [...]
Pat Taub
Combatting Ageism10
Listening to Elders
The passing down of elder wisdom is an honored tradition among cultures like the Natives Americans and the Japanese where elders are sought out for their sage advice. Unfortunately, this intergenerational exchange rarely happens in America’s youth-obsessed culture, which devalues elders and their lived experiences. But as more Americans [...]
Pat Taub
I’ve Closed Up Shop Down There
When she turned 80, Jane Fonda told a Vanity Fair interviewer, “”I’ve closed up shop down there.” She was referring to her decision to forgo sex, elaborating that she had a full, contended single life without sexual relations. Fonda isn’t alone. Many older single women have joined her chorus of living into the sunset without [...]
Pat Taub
Aging Like A Wise Woman
Over coffee, a friend suggested that I write a blog offering guidelines for meaningful aging. This week I’m taking her suggestion to heart. Here’s what I came up with: Honor Your Failures Reframe your “failures” as risks you took where you stuck your neck out. Examine them for the lessons they presented and move on where you promise [...]
Pat Taub
The Stories We Tell Ourselves
We all have core stories we tell ourselves that keep us trapped in a negative narrative: “I can’t seem to speak up when my feelings are hurt; I have a hard time believing I’m good enough; I’m too old to be in a relationship.” Esther Perel, the popular relationship therapist, believes that the stories we tell ourselves are adaptive [...]
Pat Taub
“Still Life at Eighty” by Abigail Thomas
Still Life at Eighty is a reassuring memoir chock full of humor, irreverence, and wisdom. Abigail Thomas greets her old age with vulnerability and spunk, refusing to buy into the familiar worries that often accompany aging. She is refreshingly positive about aging. Thomas has learned to love her solitude, shed guilty feelings, and be unapologetic [...]
Pat Taub
Making Peace with Our Aging Bodies
Currently I’m vacationing in Key West, where I’m surrounded by young women, parading their toned stomachs in midriff tops. In response, I’m practicing positive self-talk to avoid falling prey to the cultural message that rejects the older woman’s body, which is no longer taut. Curious to learn how other older women feel about their [...]
Pat Taub
The Path to Becoming a Happy Older Woman
Given all the ageism and sexism smacking older women in the face aging can be a dismal state for many women. Mary Pipher to the rescue! In her book, Women Rowing North, Pipher makes the case for a happy old age: “Happiness depends on how we deal with what we are given.” Piper interviews older women from all walks of life who have triumphed [...]
Pat Taub
How I Learned to Stop Fighting Aging
For a long time, I resisted aging. I dyed my hair, refused help, put off updating my will, and held my head upright to smooth out my wrinkled neck and sagging jaw lines. I relished being told that I looked much younger. Then Covid hit, forcing me into a prolonged isolation with hours and hours of long days alone. Without access to my hairdresser, [...]
Pat Taub
It’s Never Too Late to Follow a Dream
I have a friend who’s been telling me for years that she’s going to take Italian lessons. Another friend has a long-standing dream to visit Japan. For just as long, every time I pass an art supply store I revisit my dream of taking up watercolors. We’re members of the late-in-life dream club whose engine is stalled. But it doesn’t [...]
Pat Taub
We’re All Done with Sex!
Over a recent Sunday brunch with two single women friends both, like me, in their ‘70’s, the conversation turned to sex, but not in the same way it did when we were decades younger, sharing juicy tidbits about our sex lives. This time the conversation centered on how sex had lost its appeal. One friend, B confessed to having lost interest [...]
Pat Taub