Guest Post by Stephanie Raffelock We arrive at the doorstep of older age without a plan. Often retirement isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. We often find our sense of self, tangled up with what “we used to do” instead of “who we are now.” THE PURPOSEFUL LIFE Life comes down to this at any age: we are [...]
Pat Taub
Like most women I’ve spent endless hours analyzing my relationship with my mother, while giving only a passing nod to my relationship with father. With Father’s Day approaching it seems fitting to reflect on my father’s influence. I grew up in the 1950’s when gender roles were strictly defined. My mother, like most women of the era, [...]
Pat Taub
GUEST POST BY JANET WEIL “Wow… what a body – she’s incredibly well-proportioned!” The thought bubble over my head filled in as, a few months ago, my husband and I watched on Netflix a rather dull film (California Suite) with only 2 characters. Relaxed West Coast ex-husband, played by Alan Alda, hosts tense [...]
Pat Taub
Mother’s Day can be an unsettling occasion for those adult daughters with a pronounced mother wound. A celebration of mothers can reawaken a daughter’s memories of the maternal hurt she experienced growing up and which continues to affect her primary relationships. The mother wound can be traced to a woman’s proclivity to rejection, [...]
Pat Taub
This past weekend I attended the memorial service for Connie Chandler Ward, one of the founders of Greenfire, a women’s spiritual retreat center in Tenants Harbor, Maine. Connie, a former Wellesley chaplain had been a spiritual mentor to me and many others. As I rushed out the door I stuffed a packet of travel-sized Kleenex in my purse, [...]
Pat Taub
It seems like a paradox to accuse the wellness industry of adding stress to the lives of older Americans, yet this is a central thesis in Barbara Ehrenreich’s new book, Natural Causes: An Epidemic of Wellness, The Uncertainty of Dying and Killing Ourselves to Live Longer. Ehrenreich maintains that many older Americans are stressed-out [...]
Pat Taub
I’m all for love and romance but when our love options run out as we age, when dating is more frustrating than satisfying, wouldn’t we be happier if we accepted that love is no longer in the cards, seeking companionship among friends and family? I mentioned this to a friend who looked aghast as if I were delivering a death sentence! [...]
Pat Taub
What if the US had an official agency called “Learning to be Old”? Here’s how I imagine it: older women and men are scheduled for aging interviews where their aging progress is assessed followed by recommendations for a meaningful old age. When I show up for my interview I’m escorted to the women’s section and led [...]
Pat Taub
In his best-selling book, “Happiness is a Choice You Make,” the author, John Leland makes the intriguing claim, “If you want to be happy, think like an old person.” Curious about Leland’s thesis, I scooped up his book, eager for tips on being happy in my advanced years and wanting to escape the lot of the old people in my family [...]
Pat Taub
All things considered I’m managing my old age fairly well. I can check off most of the boxes for health, close friendships, meaningful work, etc., but when it comes to handling my regrets, I’m frequently stalled. I’m haunted over screaming matches with my teenage sons, impatience with my mother when she was dying, love affairs I [...]
Pat Taub