Kindness is Essential

It is a bit embarrassing to have been concerned with the human problem all one’s life and find at the end that one has no more to offer by way of advice than ‘try to be a little kinder.’

–Aldous Huxley

Huxley isn’t alone.  The Buddhist tradition emphasizes kindness and compassion as central to a meaningful life. The Dalai Lama has said that his religion is “the religion of kindness.” Venerable peace workers like Dorothy Day and the Berrigans made kindness their life mission, working to eradicate poverty and war. Most of us grew up with our parents reminding us to be kind to one another.

In 2022, kindness is in short supply. 

Daily we’re deluged with news stories encouraging us to hate Russia, China, and even our neighbors when their politics differ. The prevalence of school shootings, caging of migrants, women-hating anti-abortion laws, discrimination towards Blacks and Native Americans, point to a serious kindness deficit in our country.

Kindness is much more than the Golden Rule of treating your neighbor the way you’d like to be treated.  Kindness is essential if we’re to survive as a species.  Unless we can halt the tendency to bomb adversaries rather than negotiate for peace, we run the risk of a nuclear war.  Noam Chomsky has gone on record saying we are closer to a nuclear war than at any time in our history.

Noam Chomsky, 92, one of our most esteemed political analysts

Until we can treat the planet with kindness and stop burning fossil fuels, we will all be extinct sooner rather than later.

Why did Huxley make kindness the key to a meaningful life?  I think it’s because when we perform a kind act for another, we feel enlarged and often, happy.  Kindness makes meaningful connections possible, not just among individuals, but among countries.

Many children instinctively practice kindness

Kindness often has a ripple effect.  When someone is kind to me, I want to return the favor. I want to implant similar feelings of good will in another.

How does one live a life where kindness is central, where it becomes a conscious daily practice that extends not just to our family and friends but to the planet?

One approach is to start your meditation practice with a focus on becoming kinder, or through journaling where you write about ways to be a kinder person, as in practicing random acts of kindness.

Consider extending your kindness practice by joining a peace group or a climate justice organization where you can collaborate with like-minded souls.  Participating in an activist kindness circle can ameliorate feelings of helplessness in our turbulent world.

I am always amazed at the fullness of spirit I experience when I offer kindness to others. 

I live in downtown Portland, Maine, where I practically trip over tourists in the summer. One recent very hot day, I was rushing out of my house, late for an appointment, when two middle-aged, exhausted tourists approached me, asking for directions to the harbor and their cruise ship .  Recognizing they had about a 30-minute hike with temperatures soaring, I offered to give them a ride. I knew I would be even later for my appointment, but they pulled at my heart strings.  When I dropped them off, they thanked me over and over.

I was late for my appointment, but that was a small price to pay for what that simple act delivered: I felt more connected to the world at large.  A random act of kindness gave my day new meaning.