I love to see older women who are not slaves to fashion and who aren’t afraid to assert their individuality.
This month two renowned actresses, Frances McDormand, 60, and Glenda Jackson, 81 received major acting awards. When they delivered their acceptance speeches both women shunned the predictable awards attire of lavish gowns, high heels, stage make-up and carefully coiffed hair in favor of easy-fitting dresses and low heels with faces free of make-up along with casual hairstyles.
I wish more older women enjoyed the freedom and confidence to dress as they please where they regard fashion as an expression of their individuality and not dictum for a prescribed appearance. Aging is hard enough without developing anxiety about what we wear.
During the hey-day of second wave feminism women liberated themselves from uncomfortable bras, stockings with garter belts and other restricted clothing. We were happy in our relaxed clothes and flats but when feminist politics receded fashion took a U-turn dictating sexy wardrobes marked by impossibly high heels and eye-popping cleavage.
More and more women in the public eye like Jill Soloway, the writer and director of the HBO hit series, “Transparent” are rethinking fashion standards in favor of practicality. She told a recent Guardian interviewer how conforming to fashion was a distraction for her, insisting she’s more creative working in casual loose-fitting outfits and eschewing make-up.
Older Black women are practicing fashion rebellion by opting for natural hair. In an essay in the New York Times on February 25th, Tiya Miles describes how natural hair has “again become a sign of political intention.” She credits the blockbuster film, Black Panther for helping drive this new trend.
Andrea Siegel, author of Open and Clothed, suggests that liberation from strict fashion norms involves taking stock of the part fashion played in one’s growing-up. Sometimes we have to free ourselves from the internalized voices of the women in our family who were our fashion police.
My mother regarded clothes as a necessity rather than a form of self-expression. She’d get on my case when I made an extravagant purchase even when it was on sale. I still have the ostrich-trimmed black coat I couldn’t live without when I was 25. I’ve only worn it on a handful of occasions, but it makes me smile when I encounter it in the back of my closet. I can always be buried in it . . .
For Siegel, smiling and clothes should go hand-in-hand. She has a strict dressing room policy. If you try on something and it doesn’t make you smile, don’t buy it.
Siegel suggests complimenting women strangers whose dress inspires. I’ve taken this advice to heart and will stop and compliment an older woman who has a remarkable hat, great shoes or a winning outfit. I consider this behavior good fashion karma. This winter my praises were returned when (to my surprise) my ten-year-old red boots received numerous thumbs-up.
Bending the fashion rules can be the stamp of a secure, confident woman.
I know a 90 year-old who delights in wearing brightly colored patterned socks; a woman in her ‘80’s who challenges the jewelry rules by adorning her outfits with multiple pins, a large necklace or two and lots of bracelets. I have a friend who wears nothing but black because it makes her feel chic and confident. Another exceedingly original friend confesses to finding her one-of-a-kind purchases at thrift stores.
What’s in your closet that puts a smile on your face? Do you dare to have more fun with your wardrobe? There’s no time like the present!