If you live alone, if your family is scattered far and wide, if you recently lost a partner or spouse, if you can’t afford the plane...
Relationships
The Stories We Tell Ourselves
We all have core stories we tell ourselves that keep us trapped in a negative narrative: “I can’t seem to speak up when my feelings are hurt; I have a hard time believing I’m good enough; I’m too old to be in a relationship.” Esther Perel, the popular relationship therapist, believes that the stories we tell ourselves are adaptive [...]
Pat Taub
Finding Your Voice
Finding your voice is coming home to yourself, being true to what matters to you, and no longer suppressing your feelings. The noted Canadian psychiatrist, Gabor Mate, refers to finding your voice as acting with agency. In this recent book, “The Myth of Normal,” he contends that nice women, who do for others at the expense of their [...]
Pat Taub
Then The Line Went Dead
GUEST POST by MICHAEL STEINMAN A self-confessed dinosaur, I have always liked telephone conversations, especially the old-fashioned kind: two friends, one (me) on a landline, perhaps drinking tea, leisurely describing events but more endearingly, feelings. The telephone handset made possible the kinds of intimacy one might be shy of having [...]
Pat Taub
Gratitude To the Women Who Shaped My Life
As we move into Women’s History Month, the tendency is to celebrate famous women in the arts and politics, giving short strife to those less famous women who made an indelible impression on our lives. For Women’s History Month, I’m honoring relatives, neighbors, schoolteachers, and others who took me under their wing to model courage, [...]
Pat Taub
When Knowledge Gets in the Way of Finding Love
GUEST POST by MICHAEL STEINMAN We’re trained from kindergarten to know the answer, and our happiness in the classroom depends on it. At work, on a Zoom meeting, say, “I have no idea,” and the cyber-room fills with disapproving silence. Spiritually, we’re told that self-knowledge is the greatest good. Henry James wrote, “Try [...]
Pat Taub
Two Sets of Keys
GUEST POST by MICHAEL STEINMAN At the Malt Shoppe, circa 1950, the couple has two straws in the tall glass. Delicious. But what if you want your very own malted? Is that the end of the dream? When I began online dating (2005), I had old-fashioned goals. I’d escaped an abusive marriage and dreamed of a rewarding one while I [...]
Pat Taub
The Book of Old Ladies – Celebrating Women of A Certain Age in Fiction
GUEST POST by KRISTINE NICHOLSON It’s about time women of a certain age get some respect in this world!!!! The Book of Old Ladies: Celebrating Women of A Certain Age in Fiction is an important catalyst in kick-starting this process. It takes a fresh look at the way women are expected to live as they age. This book stares boldly into [...]
Pat Taub
What I Miss About Shopping
Months of COVID isolation without the option to shop left me examining my shopping habits. Over time it became clear that my shopping was spurred on by a consumer driven reflex, and not because I needed any more clothes. I realized what I miss more than purchasing a cheap Chanel knock-off are my shopping companions. Shopping for me, like for [...]
Pat Taub
A Nurse’s Lessons in Kindness
This holiday season where good will seems in short supply, we owe it to our loved ones and our communities to be agents of kindness. A wonderful guide for the practice of kindness is the book The Language of Kindness by Christie Watson. In the holiday rush your reading time is probably at a premium, so allow me to acquaint you with Watson’s [...]
Pat Taub
The Trap of Being a Strong Woman
A neighbor, an elderly woman, who’s been through the mill caring for a husband with Alzheimer’s is referred to as a “strong woman.” I know several Maine women, well into their ‘70’s and ‘80’s, who have carved out self-sufficient rural lifestyles, including chopping their own wood. They too are called “strong women.” [...]
Pat Taub