Pat Taub
I’ve more or less accepted the changes aging brings to my appearance: wrinkles, a sagging jaw line, droopy breasts and a puffy tummy. The physical limitations are another story. I am frequently at war with the arthritis in my left knee and right shoulder.
I curse my body when my long walks have to be curtailed because my knee swells or when my writing has to be interrupted because my arm hurts. To add insult to injury a few weeks ago I developed sciatica or lower back pain. Now I have to contend with yet another challenge to my walks around town!
Older women typically suffer from back pain
To many less fortunate I probably sound like a privileged you-know-what. An onlooker might chide me, “Poor you! What about those older women with serious illnesses? Or perhaps, “What made you think aging was going to pass you by? Our bodies were not meant to last forever.”
I recognize that my complaints are small potatoes compared to what others endure; yet I’m not alone. Many of my older friends are equally unhappy with their accumulating aches and pains. We’re all searching for ways to live with our failing bodies.
Ocean swimming has proved healing for joint pain
In my case my body had fooled me into thinking I would sail through my 70’s and beyond. I was remarkably healthy until age 65 when arthritis was first diagnosed. My only hospitalizations have been for childbirth. My menopause was uneventful. Now that the reality of living with aches and pains has settled in, it’s time for me to address my aging body.
Fundamentally I have two choices: I can continue to bemoan my body’s decline or I can develop coping strategies to help me accept my physical changes. Who wants to be a crabby old lady? Not me. That leaves option #2.
I don’t want my aches and pains to turn me into a crabby old lady!
I’ve upped my meditative practice to still my mind and to enlist a calmer me vis-à-vis my physical challenges. I’m also revising my gratitude practice to focus on all that’s good in my life and there’s a lot. I’ve started acupuncture for pain management and am incorporating stretching into my daily routine.
Practicing meditation to alleviate physical pain
For added help managing my ailments I’ve observed the much older women in my church community. Frequently they hobble about, use a cane, or are forced to undergo surgery to replace worn-out joints. In spite of their physical struggles they always have a ready smile and warm greeting. During our church’s coffee hour I mustered the nerve to ask a few of these octagarians how they manage to be so positive in the face of decline.
My answers were both predictable and illuminating: “What’s the alternative?” and “Every stage of life has challenges. The challenge of old age is to garner our losses without descending into negativity.”
Some of the older women who have inspired me with their refusal to let physical pain get them down.
That last one hit me hard. I immediately recognized that I want to grow old in an elegant manner, gracious and engaged. In this vein I’m trying to curb my impatience by employing self-talk that reminds me it takes awhile to adjust to new challenges, like my sciatica.
Mary Oliver, a favorite poet and a national treasure offers inspiration for the way forward:
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?
