Pat Taub
On a recent Saturday afternoon, seeking relief from the gloomy weather, I made my way to the Portland Museum of Art to watch the documentary, “The Gift.” This movie has haunted me ever since.
The documentary was adapted from the book “The Gift” by Lewis Hyde where he distinguishes between gifts bought at the market place and gifts that spring from the heart. The latter are gifts that take us beyond ourselves, prompting a soulful exchange between giver and receiver. While Hyde’s book is directed at artists, it’s relevant for anyone who wants to live soulfully.
One memorable clip from the film takes place in an art museum where four opera singers move through the museum, randomly selecting visitors, asking them, “May I offer you the gift of a song?”
Those who accept are visibly moved. The singers are just as stirred, lending weight to Hyde’s theory that giving freely from the heart can be transformative for both the giver and receiver.
A scene from the film where an opera singer in kimono approaches a museum visitor offering the gift of a song.
Next the camera moves outside the museum to record an art action where Gerbera Daisies are handed out to passer-byes with the message to pass the flower along. This becomes a joyous act where big smiles accompany the giving and receiving of the daisies. I was beginning to understand that soulful giving is very much a communal exchange.
A scene from “The Gift” where a young woman has been gifted a flower and asked to pass it along.
The aspect of a community’s role in giving is illustrated in the segment about an art colony in the heart of Rome, formed when a vacant sausage factory was taken over by artist squatters and their families. The building, named The Museum of the Other, is covered inside and out with lively murals, which keep expanding. Visitors are invited to view the murals at no expense. City officials have tried to oust the squatters, but their fame has drawn celebrated muralists who have made their own additions to the building, making it awkward for the city to kick out the squatters.
Interior living space at The Museum of the Other
Another segment showcases a Native American community in Canada whose potlatch is a moving example of artists generously giving away original carvings and food. A section features Burning Man, the iconic weeklong art festival held in Nevada’s Black Rock desert. Artists create mind-blowing work, not for sale, but for the enjoyment of fellow artists.
What lessons can we take from “The Gift” as we enter the holidays defined by gifts?
For me, it’s rethinking how I gift. I hate spending money for overpriced items no one really needs. Lewis Hyde offers an appealing alternative: gifts from the heart, which might take the form of promissory notes to family members for a shared trip, a tea date (my granddaughter) or treasured art books from my library.
This holiday I plan to give gifts from the heart rather than from the mall
My big take away from “The Gift” is that true giving is not limited to the holidays.
It becomes a lifestyle where I let my heart take the lead in extending smiles to strangers, buying a cup of coffee for a homeless person, offering affirmations to the harassed young mother I encounter at the grocery store– always thinking in terms of expanding my sense of community.
As I write this I’m reminded of the gifts I’ve received that didn’t involve a financial transaction and have become far more memorable than a Christmas sweater. I was deeply touched by the nurses from the hospital across the street from my house, who confessed that they routinely removed cigarette butts and empty beer cans carelessly strewn in my flower garden.
My garden that has been lovingly looked after by the nurses who work in the hospital across the street
I will never forget visiting the Occupy encampment in Manhattan and being welcomed with a free cup of Chai, or last winter as I was struggling to break up the ice on my sidewalk when a couple stopped their car in front of my house, bounced out, retrieved two huge shovels from their trunk, and cleared my sidewalk in record time.
Hyde makes the point that gifts given from the soul frequently have a greater impact on the giver. We expand in ways not possible when money is involved. During a recent Hospice training session I participated in, volunteers shared their experiences working with Hospice patients, saying over and over, “Hospice volunteering has been the greatest gift in my life.”
