Pat Taub
Creating a Conversation:
Welcome to my new blog, “Women’s Older Wisdom,” or WOW. I want to fill a gap in the blogosphere for blogs addressed to women past 60, bucking the current trend where blogs for older women consist largely of fashion and beauty tips, as if successful aging depended on looking young!
I refuse to buy into our culture’s demeaning prescription for how to age as a woman.
As I enter my 70’s, I want to own my age without making excuses for my wrinkles and my changing physical form. I want to hold my head high as I reflect on my accomplishments, my wisdom, and my joys. Nor do I want to run away from the difficult aspects of aging—declining health, limited resources, and facing the big “D.”
I want to create a conversation among other aging women of different backgrounds, who will join me in a new appraisal of aging so that we can age with pride.
Culturally approved aging: sexy Helen Mirren (ABC NEWS)
We will not let the culture shame us because we look old.
We refuse to be invisible. We have wisdom to share as mothers, grandmothers, lovers, successful career women, artists, life-long activists, and spiritual leaders. Our potential contributions as older women are endless. And just because we’re old doesn’t mean we can’t continue to grow and create. We want to live as fully in our later years as in our earlier ones.
My posts will reflect my personal trials and tribulations to carve out a meaningful life as an older woman living in a society seeped with ageism and sexism. I will also publish guest posts by older women, with different ethnic and cultural backgrounds than mine. No topic is sacred.
I will dive into the wild waters of aging, as I address topics like: sex after 60, combatting loneliness, making peace with troublesome relatives, the new grandmother, solo travel, fueling creative juices, living with aches and pains, and finding spiritual meaning.
Like many of you, I was part of the second wave of Feminism, which saw its heyday during the ‘70’s and ‘80’s.
Young Feminists in the 1970’s (hailtothegynocracy.wordpress.com)
As a young woman of 25, married and living in Washington, DC and attending social work graduate school, I joined my first Conscious Raising group.
Ten young women, straight and gay, crowded together in a living room marked by worn furniture and plants suspended in macramé holders. Epiphanies piled up as we deconstructed the sexism that accompanied our coming of age.
The empowerment I experienced in this group of like-minded women was exhilarating. I envisioned new possibilities for my gender as I joined the campaigns for abortion rights, justice for rape victims, the ERA (equal pay for equal work), ending sexual harassment at work, government funded childcare, and shared household and parenting chores.
Those were mighty battles; some we won and some remain to be won. My participation in that era was life altering. I emerged with a stronger voice, a stronger sense of self, and with a deep respect for the powers of women’s communities to effect change.
Today older women are challenged to forge a new Feminist revolution where we combat ageism and sexism and redefine old age as one of enhancement rather than diminishment.
Old Women’s Project, San Diego, CA (Activists against Ageism)
We must draw upon the lessons from the Second Wave, working in solidarity with other old women to challenge the prevailing notion of old women as used up, irrelevant.
We need to create new paths for older women who want to own their wisdom and valuable life experiences, while continuing to embrace new challenges.
We can leave a legacy for young women where they don’t have to fear growing old, or beat back the clock with plastic surgery. We can show them how to age with grace. We can be the mentors for them we longed to have for ourselves.
Together let’s embody Ghandi’s words:
“Be the change you want to see in the world.”
For a long time, I regarded old age as something ‘over there,’ stretching way beyond me on a fuzzy horizon. Old age was something that happened to other people.
But once I hit my late ‘60’s, the wear and tear on my body forced me to admit I was no longer young.
My arthritic hands have yielded gnarled fingers, often causing embarrassment when I use my hands to make a point. An arthritic knee limits my former power walks. I can still walk long distances, but not without resting and/or popping an Aleve. I have more wrinkles, even to my despair, jowls! Night driving is anxiety provoking. I can’t always hear what someone across the room is saying.
Bad Ass Older Women (mattandersonphotography.com)
If confronting my aging body weren’t enough, I’m also forced to admit that the grim reaper has his sights on me. This reality becomes inescapable as I lose more friends and relatives each year. I’m reminded of Bette Davis immortal words: “Old age isn’t for sissies.”
Bette Davis also made famous, the line: “Fasten your seat belts it’s going to be a bumpy ride.”
Join me for a bumpy, spirited ride where together we’ll give new meaning and dignity to today’s older woman!
Do not deprive me of my age. I have earned it. (May Sarton)
May Sarton (Bauhan Publishing)
