If you live alone, if your family is scattered far and wide, if you recently lost a partner or spouse, if you can’t afford the plane...
Relationships
Crafting Healing Stories to Shed Anger
One of the most valuable lessons aging has bestowed on me is the importance of shedding anger. The less anger I hold the more inner peace I possess. I’ve learned to release a lot of my anger by imagining myself inhabiting the lives of those who have hurt me, resulting in a new story where I experience compassion towards the other. This [...]
Pat Taub
Healing the Mother Wound
Mother’s Day can be an unsettling occasion for those adult daughters with a pronounced mother wound. A celebration of mothers can reawaken a daughter’s memories of the maternal hurt she experienced growing up and which continues to affect her primary relationships. The mother wound can be traced to a woman’s proclivity to rejection, [...]
Pat Taub
When Loss Brings Up More Than I Bargained For
This past weekend I attended the memorial service for Connie Chandler Ward, one of the founders of Greenfire, a women’s spiritual retreat center in Tenants Harbor, Maine. Connie, a former Wellesley chaplain had been a spiritual mentor to me and many others. As I rushed out the door I stuffed a packet of travel-sized Kleenex in my purse, [...]
Pat Taub
Growing Old Without a Partner
I’m all for love and romance but when our love options run out as we age, when dating is more frustrating than satisfying, wouldn’t we be happier if we accepted that love is no longer in the cards, seeking companionship among friends and family? I mentioned this to a friend who looked aghast as if I were delivering a death sentence! [...]
Pat Taub
Learning to Be Old
What if the US had an official agency called “Learning to be Old”? Here’s how I imagine it: older women and men are scheduled for aging interviews where their aging progress is assessed followed by recommendations for a meaningful old age. When I show up for my interview I’m escorted to the women’s section and led [...]
Pat Taub
“Happiness is a Choice You Make:” A Book Review
In his best-selling book, “Happiness is a Choice You Make,” the author, John Leland makes the intriguing claim, “If you want to be happy, think like an old person.” Curious about Leland’s thesis, I scooped up his book, eager for tips on being happy in my advanced years and wanting to escape the lot of the old people in my family [...]
Pat Taub
The Power of Magic
Typically a film makes me cry because of a redeeming ending like when two lovers are reunited or when social justice has been delivered. I cried for a different reason after watching Guillermo Del Toro’s Oscar winning-film, “The Shape of Water.” I cried because this beautiful, magical film burrowed deep inside me to a place that is seldom [...]
Pat Taub
Valentines for the Women in My Heart
What better time than Valentine’s Day to pay homage to some of the remarkable women who helped shaped me? My mother, Jane Conrad, provided me with a love for art, escorting me to my first art museum (Washington, DC’s National Gallery of Art) at age 9. I was awed by the marble columns and huge masterpieces in elaborate gold frames. Mother [...]
Pat Taub
Banishing Regrets!
All things considered I’m managing my old age fairly well. I can check off most of the boxes for health, close friendships, meaningful work, etc., but when it comes to handling my regrets, I’m frequently stalled. I’m haunted over screaming matches with my teenage sons, impatience with my mother when she was dying, love affairs I [...]
Pat Taub
A Cure for Loneliness: Building Community
Guest Blog by Joie Grandbois At the age of 39 I made the decision to return to school to pursue my bachelor’s degree. At that time, I had a vibrant circle of friends with a very active social life. My weekends were spent dancing, brunching with friends, and making music with fellow artists. I was very active in my spiritual community, hosting [...]
Pat Taub