If you live alone, if your family is scattered far and wide, if you recently lost a partner or spouse, if you can’t afford the plane...
Loss and Grief
Remembering Friends Who Changed My Life
One of the hardest aspects of aging for me is losing dear friends–friends I looked forward to spending time with in my dotage. In this post I’m paying homage to them, grateful for our close connections and for the invaluable lessons they gave me. Diana died just a few months shy of her 60thbirthday; Zoe was 63 and Ray [...]
Pat Taub
The Invisible Weight of Grief
GUEST POST by FRANCESCA ARNOLDY Being a grief group co-leader has taught me to respect the invisible weight of grief. I can scan a grief support group of friendly faces, and assume people are okay given their smiles and warm handshakes. And yet, once we get through introductions and take the conversation deeper, these seemingly “okay” [...]
Pat Taub
Where Do We Go From Here?
Many of us are struggling with this question as we try to process last week’s heinous hate crimes where a Trump disciple mailed pipe bombs to many of Trump’s sworn enemies; where a white racist killed two elderly African Americans in cold blood in a Kentucky market; where 11 mostly elderly men and women were murdered at Pittsburgh’s [...]
Pat Taub
Struggling to Help Someone Who’s Grieving
I wish I could say that the many deaths I’ve experienced have left me with the skills and confidence to comfort the newly grief-stricken. But that’s not the case. Every time a close friend or relative is hit with a death, I reach out with my condolences and offers of support, but no matter how many times I’ve done this, it feels awkward. [...]
Pat Taub
Witnessing Death
GUEST POST BY MARGIE MARTIN CAMPBELL I first encountered death when I was three. I watched my beloved Grandpa (Dad’s father) restlessly walking the floor, then sitting on the couch only to return to his pacing. I had noticed he hadn’t eaten, so I suggested to Mom that she fix him something. I wondered why she had such a strange look on [...]
Pat Taub
Death Doulas: Making Death Easier
No one wants to die, but what if there was a way to soften death, to make it less scary, to minimize regrets, and to make meaningful goodbyes? Enter death doulas, women and men trained to administer spiritual and practical support for the dying and their families. While many folk traditions and cultures have ceremonies to usher the dying into [...]
Pat Taub
After the Sobbing, the Sorting
Guest post by Janet Weil A favorite Jack Kornfield book title of mine is “After the Ecstasy, the Laundry” — modern stories and ancient tales of dealing with life’s day-to-day challenges after the ecstasy of spiritual epiphanies. That phrase frequently ran through my mind as I faced a long to-do list after my mother, [...]
Pat Taub
The Heartache of Losing Close Friends
Perhaps the aspect of aging I find most difficult is losing dear friends–friends I had planning on spending time with into my dotage. In this post I’m paying homage to them, grateful for our close connection and for the invaluable lessons they gave me. Diana died just a few months shy of her 60th birthday; Zoe was 63 and Ray was 69. [...]
Pat Taub
A WIDOW’S JOURNEY: Part II
Guest Post by Elaine McGillicuddy Once the funeral is over, and the sympathy cards arrive less frequently, what is it like, after every errand, or meeting with a friend, to return to an empty house? I couldn’t bear the void. It’s desperation that told me: “Just sit! Just sit.” What relief to find that in sitting, I experienced Francis’ [...]
Pat Taub
A WIDOW’S JOURNEY: Part 1
Guest Post by Elaine McGillicuddy (First in a two-part series by Elaine on living as a widow) For me, the process of dealing with my grief through the loss of my beloved husband was through writing. I felt compelled to preserve Francis’ words, and what we experienced together during the 100 days from the date of the cancer diagnosis until [...]
Pat Taub