While I’m an elder, I hadn’t given a lot of thought to dying, that is until my brother, who’s 20 months younger, announced in...
Positive Self-Image10
The Stories We Tell Ourselves
We all have core stories we tell ourselves that keep us trapped in a negative narrative: “I can’t seem to speak up when my feelings are hurt; I have a hard time believing I’m good enough; I’m too old to be in a relationship.” Esther Perel, the popular relationship therapist, believes that the stories we tell ourselves are adaptive [...]
Pat Taub
Finding Your Voice
Finding your voice is coming home to yourself, being true to what matters to you, and no longer suppressing your feelings. The noted Canadian psychiatrist, Gabor Mate, refers to finding your voice as acting with agency. In this recent book, “The Myth of Normal,” he contends that nice women, who do for others at the expense of their [...]
Pat Taub
“Still Life at Eighty” by Abigail Thomas
Still Life at Eighty is a reassuring memoir chock full of humor, irreverence, and wisdom. Abigail Thomas greets her old age with vulnerability and spunk, refusing to buy into the familiar worries that often accompany aging. She is refreshingly positive about aging. Thomas has learned to love her solitude, shed guilty feelings, and be unapologetic [...]
Pat Taub
Astrology as a Tool for Self-Understanding
GUEST POST By LAURIE FARRINGTON My fascination with astrology began the first time I saw the symbols on those little horoscope booklets by the grocery store check-out counters in the early 1960s. Following many years of self-study, I began my formal practice of astrology in 1994. As a professional consulting astrologer, I use the tool of astrology [...]
Pat Taub
Making Peace with Our Aging Bodies
Currently I’m vacationing in Key West, where I’m surrounded by young women, parading their toned stomachs in midriff tops. In response, I’m practicing positive self-talk to avoid falling prey to the cultural message that rejects the older woman’s body, which is no longer taut. Curious to learn how other older women feel about their [...]
Pat Taub
I Cane, I Saw, I Conquered
GUEST POST by MICHAEL STEINMAN I’ve never been a sprinter. And in the past decade, some friends have commented on my odd forward motion. “You walk funny. Are you OK?” You could say I limp, or perhaps hobble. A woman I was dating told me that she was “concerned” about “my mobility issues,” to which [...]
Pat Taub
Debunking “Successful Aging”
I rankle whenever I hear the term, “successful aging,” which has become the Boomers’ mantra. I take issue because it implies there is a right and wrong way to age. Successful aging is defined in terms of a self-centered wellness regime as opposed to a compassionate focus on the elder’s wisdom years, where giving back to society [...]
Pat Taub
Home Alone For the Holidays
The holiday season is upon us. Thanksgiving is next week, soon to be followed by Christmas and Hanukkah where images of happy extended families are portrayed in TV commercials and Hallmark specials. But if you’re among all those older women and men who live alone, who don’t have a family to celebrate with, or who recently lost a partner, [...]
Pat Taub
Childless by Choice
In my Zoom class on Women’s Spirituality, we watched the film, “A Goddess Remembered,” which put us in touch with the legacy of our female ancestors. In one segment, Jungian psychiatrist, Jean Shinoa Bolen, commented, ‘When I had a child, I felt connected to all the women who came before me.’ The implication was that until she [...]
Pat Taub
Play, Laugh, Be Silly and Reduce Your Stress
I consider myself lucky because I got the play gene. While my family provided me with enough drama to propel me into therapy for decades, they also gave me a delight in play, in whimsy and in just being silly. We loved playing practical jokes. A box of rubber chocolates lay in wait for unsuspecting guests: a whoopie cushion could be placed [...]
Pat Taub