While I’m an elder, I hadn’t given a lot of thought to dying, that is until my brother, who’s 20 months younger, announced in...
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Humanity In A Dark Time
Every morning I watch Democracy Now for updates on Gaza, and weep. It feels important to be a witness to this genocide happening in real time. I force myself not to look away from the traumatized children, covered with ash, sitting on the ruins of their former homes, crying aloud as their thin bodies tremble. I see humanity in the exhausted [...]
Pat Taub
Coping with Loneliness
“I do pretty well living alone, but on days when I crave companionship, it becomes depressing.” “I’m too embarrassed to reach out to friends when I’m feeling lonely.” “My family sees me as a strong woman, so they don’t realize I get lonely and would like them to contact me more.” “I wish there were places, other [...]
Pat Taub
Competitive Grandparenting
GUEST POST By ANONYMOUS* In a clear sign of the sickness engendered by the long reign of patriarchy in Western culture, grandparenting is now seen as a competitive rather than collaborative endeavor. Despite research confirming the long-held notion that children with at least one grandmother alive are far more likely to thrive than those without [...]
Pat Taub
“I Hate Being Old!”
Currently I’m teaching the course, “Women and Aging” at Portland, Maine’s senior college. The first day, as we went around the room introducing ourselves, one woman defiantly exclaimed, “I hate being old. I hate my lined face. I hate not being able to move as well as I once did. I hate being too old to date because men my age [...]
Pat Taub
Don’t Dismiss the Foremothers in Your Family
I have friends who insist the women in their families didn’t provide examples of independence and/or positive aging. This observation can be skewed by the fact that our mothers and grandmothers didn’t live in our enlightened era where women are consciously aging with an awareness of ageism and sexism, and where the anti-aging industry [...]
Pat Taub
Letting Go of Regrets
All things considered I’m managing my old age fairly well. I can check off most of the boxes for health, family, etc., but when it comes to handling my regrets, I’m often stalled. To this day I’m haunted over screaming matches with my teenage sons, impatience with my mother when she was dying, love affairs I allowed to go on way [...]
Pat Taub
Easing into Old Age
My grandmothers and mother lived well into their 80’s, transitioning into old age with only minimal complaints. While they followed healthy diets and exercised moderately, they didn’t obsess over their daily routines, or fret about their extra pounds or wrinkles. They simply didn’t stress about aging. Granted they lived at a time [...]
Pat Taub
You Can’t Make Old Friends
GUEST POST by MARY LOU SMITH* When I was young, I would hear my elders say, “My circle of friends is getting smaller,” The words passed right over me, without listening or understanding. Now that I am eighty-three, I am in the midst of living those words. The recent death of my soulmate, friend, and “sister” Lucille, of fifty-three [...]
Pat Taub
The Gift of Grief
GUEST POST by JACOB WATSON At first and for many months after my wife died, I felt brutalized. Grief is brutal, a word I used often when my grief was fresh. Then slowly, way too slowly for inpatient me, a transformation began to happen. I remembered a class I took in my doctoral program taught by Clarissa Pinkola Estés, the feminist author [...]
Pat Taub
Living in An Upside-Down World
At a recent wedding reception, I found myself in conversation with a woman marine biologist with a sad face. When she shared her concerns about the warming oceans and her despair over the failed response of government leaders to address our diminishing sea life, I attributed her sadness to that shared by climate scientists who keep telling [...]
Pat Taub