While I’m an elder, I hadn’t given a lot of thought to dying, that is until my brother, who’s 20 months younger, announced in...
Thinking About Death
While I’m an elder, I hadn’t given a lot of thought to dying, that is until my brother, who’s 20 months younger, announced in a recent late-night phone call that he had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. (To preserve my brother’s [...]
Pat Taub
Aging10
Coping with Loneliness
“I do pretty well living alone, but on days when I crave companionship, it becomes depressing.” “I’m too embarrassed to reach out to friends when I’m feeling lonely.” “My family sees me as a strong woman, so they don’t realize I get lonely and would like them to contact me more.” “I wish there were places, other [...]
Pat Taub
Easing into Old Age
My grandmothers and mother lived well into their 80’s, transitioning into old age with only minimal complaints. While they followed healthy diets and exercised moderately, they didn’t obsess over their daily routines, or fret about their extra pounds or wrinkles. They simply didn’t stress about aging. Granted they lived at a time [...]
Pat Taub
You Can’t Make Old Friends
GUEST POST by MARY LOU SMITH* When I was young, I would hear my elders say, “My circle of friends is getting smaller,” The words passed right over me, without listening or understanding. Now that I am eighty-three, I am in the midst of living those words. The recent death of my soulmate, friend, and “sister” Lucille, of fifty-three [...]
Pat Taub
The Gift of Grief
GUEST POST by JACOB WATSON At first and for many months after my wife died, I felt brutalized. Grief is brutal, a word I used often when my grief was fresh. Then slowly, way too slowly for inpatient me, a transformation began to happen. I remembered a class I took in my doctoral program taught by Clarissa Pinkola Estés, the feminist author [...]
Pat Taub
Death Journaling
GUEST POST by FRANCESCA LYNN ARNOLDY* My Death Journal is a gift for my beloveds that I have been lovingly creating for many years. It’s meant for my end of life—whenever that occurs. My family members know of its purpose and where it lives. My Death Journal contains mementos, messages, song lyrics, poetry, quotes, wishes for care if and [...]
Pat Taub
Wise Women Speak
As a young woman, I never would have predicted that landing in my eighth decade would usher in the most content state of my life. I expected the challenges of being in an aging body would sour my mood. Instead, I finally grew up. I learned to reap the lessons from all my years of soul-searching, growing from romantic heartbreaks, career [...]
Pat Taub
Celebrating the Authentic Older Woman’s Face
This past week a brouhaha emerged over 81-year-old Martha Stewart’s spin as a swimsuit model for Sports Illustrated. While some woman applauded her courage at donning a bathing suit at 81, the majority condemned holding up- Martha’s air-brushed, plastic surgery enhanced face as a model for older women. Martha’s swimsuit turn highlights [...]
Pat Taub
“Still Life at Eighty” by Abigail Thomas
Still Life at Eighty is a reassuring memoir chock full of humor, irreverence, and wisdom. Abigail Thomas greets her old age with vulnerability and spunk, refusing to buy into the familiar worries that often accompany aging. She is refreshingly positive about aging. Thomas has learned to love her solitude, shed guilty feelings, and be unapologetic [...]
Pat Taub
My Secret
GUEST POST by MARGIE CAMPBELL I’m going to tell you a secret. It isn’t something that I tell readily these days. It is something that has been a burden lately. Perhaps if I share it with you, I’ll become more comfortable with it. So, what is it that causes you so much concern, you may well ask? Okay, here it is—some months ago I turned [...]
Pat Taub
Ageism is Real!
Ageism, defined as discrimination against the older adult, is very real in the lives of many, if not most, American women. The older woman loses her currency for no other reason than she looks her age. At work, her suggestions are frequently rejected; socially she is shunned because she no longer looks young; her adult children consider her [...]
Pat Taub