Despair has become my unwelcome visitor. Every time I read about the deteriorating conditions of life in Gaza my stomach churns....
Death and Dying
The Gift of Grief
GUEST POST by JACOB WATSON At first and for many months after my wife died, I felt brutalized. Grief is brutal, a word I used often when my grief was fresh. Then slowly, way too slowly for inpatient me, a transformation began to happen. I remembered a class I took in my doctoral program taught by Clarissa Pinkola Estés, the feminist author [...]
Pat TaubMaking Dying Less Scary
When I mentioned to a friend that I was reading Katy Butler’s new book, The Art of Dying Well, her response was: “That sounds grim.” Another friend was similarly put-off, saying, “I never think about death. It’s too depressing.” After finishing Butler’s book, I felt anything but depressed. I felt empowered, realizing I have [...]
Pat TaubHow to Support One Who’s Grieving
“Grief is the price you pay for love.” Amy Bloom For a long time, as hard as I tried, I was awkward and uncomfortable in my attempts to comfort the newly grief-stricken. When a close friend or relative was hit with a death, I fulfilled my moral obligation to make contact, but no matter how often I reached out to someone who was grieving, [...]
Pat TaubLessons On How to Die
When I mentioned to a friend that I was reading Katy Butler’s new book, The Art of Dying Well, her response was: “That sounds grim.” Another friend was similarly put-off, saying, “I try not to think about death. It’s too depressing.” After finishing Butler’s book I felt anything but depressed. I felt empowered [...]
Pat TaubWitnessing Death
GUEST POST BY MARGIE MARTIN CAMPBELL I first encountered death when I was three. I watched my beloved Grandpa (Dad’s father) restlessly walking the floor, then sitting on the couch only to return to his pacing. I had noticed he hadn’t eaten, so I suggested to Mom that she fix him something. I wondered why she had such a strange look on [...]
Pat TaubCrafting Healing Stories to Shed Anger
One of the most valuable lessons aging has bestowed on me is the importance of shedding anger. The less anger I hold the more inner peace I possess. I’ve learned to release a lot of my anger by imagining myself inhabiting the lives of those who have hurt me, resulting in a new story where I experience compassion towards the other. This [...]
Pat TaubDeath Doulas: Making Death Easier
No one wants to die, but what if there was a way to soften death, to make it less scary, to minimize regrets, and to make meaningful goodbyes? Enter death doulas, women and men trained to administer spiritual and practical support for the dying and their families. While many folk traditions and cultures have ceremonies to usher the dying into [...]
Pat Taub14 Principles for Thoughtful Aging
After blogging about aging for over two years now I challenged myself to come up with guidelines for thoughtful aging. I’ve distilled into 14 principles what I’ve learned from life experience, reading, talking with close friends and interviews with wise women. Embrace Your Failures During the 1970’s when I was studying family therapy, [...]
Pat TaubMy Time is Running Out!
As I move through my 70’s I’m forced to face the fact that I’m running out of time. It feels scary. I’m healthy and financially secure, but no one lives forever. How much time do I have left: 15 years, 20 years? The last 15 years raced by. If the next 15 years are going to be equally accelerated, how can I make the most of them? How [...]
Pat TaubBraving the Death and Dying Conversation
In the new heart-warming Indie film, “Other People, “ we watch a close-knit family gather around their dying mother in her last year of life. The film captures the discomfort and awkwardness with which most American family’s deal with death and dying. There is a powerful hospital scene where the mother screams, after vomiting into [...]
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